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Where we lead... - zanny - 08-30-2010
Hello fellow seekers,
I have posted occasionally, but often have difficulty opening up about my personal life...So I have decided to post a very personal story in hopes that it may touch someone or offer hope or faith where and when it may be needed. (which for me is often in this confusing world)
My daughter "S" was 17 years old when this happened last year. It was a trying time for me and my family and most assuredly for her. S has had some difficulty in her teen years and was not dealing with it very well. She was running away from home, cutting herself and drinking to the point of passing out or blacking out. As a mother I was trying to do everything I could to reach her and help her out of the dark place she had gotten herself into...But she seemingly did not want my help. So one night after she had run away (again) I was meditating and praying for her to be safe and asking for guidance.
As I laid in bed trying to meditate, (which is difficult for me when I am upset) I heard a bong, like a ringing of a bell...I heard it as if it was coming from within the room (not in my head) on my right side. I opened my eyes and looked to the right searching for the source of such a strange sound in my room in the middle of the night. Then I heard it again but this time it was more like a flute or small wind instrument. I sleep with a fan on at night and it sounded like it was coming from my fan. It was very strange.
My husband who was asleep right next to me heard nothing and kept snoring. Then it was repeated slowly methodically every few seconds and seemed to be gaining a tempo...I closed my eyes and relaxed- listening to this beautiful sound. Then I started to recognize a pattern and began humming along. Finally it formed into a song that I have heard thousands of times before and it was so simple and beautiful I sat there in awe of the message...The song was "Mary Had a Little Lamb".
I started singing along and began to cry as I thought of my daughter. The realization that I could do nothing but Love her and lead by example was a wake up call. But the line..."Everywhere that Mary went- the Lamb was sure to go." gives me hope and faith that if we lead with the loving light those who need a little help are sure to find it.
I have tried very hard to remember this lesson, not only with my children but also with friends, family, and the world.
Thanks for reading and please feel free to comment and add your thoughts.
zanny
RE: Where we lead... - Lorna - 08-30-2010
what a reassuring and beautiful message you received, thank you so much for sharing it zanny x
RE: Where we lead... - Turtle - 08-30-2010
It can be a truly difficult lesson, to realize we cannot force anyone to change for the better. Leading by example seems pointless sometimes, but that is only because the other person must be willing to follow in your footsteps. Godspeed in your endeavor, and try to take it easy on yourself... even though you are her mother, you are not her.
RE: Where we lead... - fairyfarmgirl - 08-30-2010
Zany, I bless your HEART with LOVE. It is a challenge to LOVE others where they are at--- at yet with acceptance transformation often occurs. Peace Pilgrim, Peace Pilgrim demonstrated this by living her life in a state of acceptance.
I must say, I am not there yet--- but working on it!
When witnessing a loved ones self-destructiveness it is extremely difficult to stay in a place of acceptance. http://michaelteachings.com/ provides some very accurate insights on different roles and modes, and chief negative features we play while on EARTH and how to shift a negative pattern into a positive pattern. For instance, the Chief Negative Feature of Self-Destruction when in the negative pole of behavior can be shifted to the positive Pole of Self-Actualization. This is acheived by working with a goal. For instance, many times Self-Destruction patterns have the goal of self-acceptance and acceptance of other selves. Self-acceptance is facilitated by forgiving the Self and other selves or by the forgiveness of another demonstrated by leading by example.
Energy Entrainment is a principle of the Law of Attraction. Energy Entrainment is where more than one(regular humans) or ONE unified Luminous Human (activated Wanderers etc) creates an energetic pattern (ie Love, Forgiveness, Joy, Truth) and all that comes into that Energy Matrix then is entrained to step up vibration to match the Energetic Pattern. Now this principle of the Law of Attraction works on the other spectrum as well.
I Love the song that the Guides, Helpers and/or Beings of Light sent to you. Mary had a Little Lamb.
There are other resources available as well. PM if you are interested.
Love--
fairyfarmgirl
RE: Where we lead... - zanny - 09-02-2010
(08-30-2010, 04:08 AM)Lorna Wrote: what a reassuring and beautiful message you received, thank you so much for sharing it zanny x
(08-30-2010, 04:31 AM)Turtle Wrote: It can be a truly difficult lesson, to realize we cannot force anyone to change for the better. Leading by example seems pointless sometimes, but that is only because the other person must be willing to follow in your footsteps. Godspeed in your endeavor, and try to take it easy on yourself... even though you are her mother, you are not her.
Yes Turtle...Too true~! Thank you for your kindness always~!
(08-30-2010, 09:30 AM)fairyfarmgirl Wrote: Zany, I bless your HEART with LOVE. It is a challenge to LOVE others where they are at--- at yet with acceptance transformation often occurs. Peace Pilgrim, Peace Pilgrim demonstrated this by living her life in a state of acceptance.
I must say, I am not there yet--- but working on it!
When witnessing a loved ones self-destructiveness it is extremely difficult to stay in a place of acceptance. http://michaelteachings.com/ provides some very accurate insights on different roles and modes, and chief negative features we play while on EARTH and how to shift a negative pattern into a positive pattern. For instance, the Chief Negative Feature of Self-Destruction when in the negative pole of behavior can be shifted to the positive Pole of Self-Actualization. This is acheived by working with a goal. For instance, many times Self-Destruction patterns have the goal of self-acceptance and acceptance of other selves. Self-acceptance is facilitated by forgiving the Self and other selves or by the forgiveness of another demonstrated by leading by example.
Energy Entrainment is a principle of the Law of Attraction. Energy Entrainment is where more than one(regular humans) or ONE unified Luminous Human (activated Wanderers etc) creates an energetic pattern (ie Love, Forgiveness, Joy, Truth) and all that comes into that Energy Matrix then is entrained to step up vibration to match the Energetic Pattern. Now this principle of the Law of Attraction works on the other spectrum as well.
I Love the song that the Guides, Helpers and/or Beings of Light sent to you. Mary had a Little Lamb.
There are other resources available as well. PM if you are interested.
Love--
fairyfarmgirl
Thank you for the info fairyfarmgirl. I have read the Micheal teachings. I will look into the rest...
I was rushed in my earlier post so I will just add a bit.
I believe that a big part of the lesson here was not only where I am leading but where and when I am being led... Because I believe in this scenario I was often "the lamb". In the guise of helping I would get drawn into my daughters darkness and "get stuck" to where she was not the only one suffering...I was and frankly so was the rest of my family. To put it better I will make it less personal...
Example: A friend could be angry and want to express that anger with me...(whether or not I am the person they are angry at or not.) I can respond to that anger with anger and be led to that place and feed the fire- so to speak- so that now we are both angry. Or I can choose to not be led. This more than anything has been a big lesson for me... Especially because I believe that I am an empath and would often find myself being drawn into others suffering. So I have been learning to lead more and be led less...Does that make sense to anyone else?
I feel I am learning to be a leader...Not like of nations or anything, but more of a leader of my own path. :idea:
Amazing to me how much I can get out of such a simple song...lol
Thanks Lorna, Turtle and Fairyfarmgirl for responing and alowing me to ramble on...
zanny
RE: Where we lead... - fairyfarmgirl - 09-02-2010
Zanny-- This is something that many empaths are working on. It is very easy to be led into a feeling state (very different from emotional which is LOVE, feelings are Fear based) by another.
It is frightening to watch another harm themselves and then to feel helpless to change thier minds--- so fear becomes expressed outwardly as anger. This does indeed feed the fire.
There are a good many reasons why this happens. Sometimes it is simply energy entrainment. Entrainment happens when an energy or sound overpowers the energies or sounds around it. Thus, the only course the overwhelmed can take is to become entrained to the noise. This happens all the time. It is also called catching a vibe (good or bad).
So the challenge when faced with entrainment is to raise ones frequency above it all (takes tremendous focus which is often not possible when freaked out by the discord) or to remove yourself from the entrainment. Calm down and raise your frequency and then face the source of the noise with calming LOVE.
I have a challenging child as well. I am learning to no longer be entrained to my childs' shennegans. And as I cease to participate the shennagans become less and less. My intuition indicates that by doing so the noise will no longer be fed and will be transformed into something that is more positive.
I have also placed the responsibility for the results of this noise on the noise makers shoulders. Thus, allowing for natural consequences to take place rather than interfering and trying to help make the situation better. This has allowed my noisemaker to experience the full range of their choices. And ultimately learn from their experiences.
I found what you were saying to be quite clear. It may feel like you are rambling, however, it is clear you are learning to shore up your energy and cease to take on water from others.
I am also re-reading Peace Pilgrim. During her travels she came across quite a few self-destructive people and through the use of LOVE assisted them in transforming themselves through the use of Acceptence, Flow, and Forgiveness (all aspects of LOVE and Unity Consciousness= Oneness). So I am going back to what I know and learning it so I can begin to apply it more readily in my life. So far with much better results than trying to change someone's mind! They have to change thier own mind. Acceptence seems to be a powerful tool in the tool belt of LOVE. Acceptence is a challenge for Old Souls as we see where the errors are being made and wish to help... But not everyone is ready for help or even wants help. This is the challenge for all healers.
Love--
fairyfarmgirl
RE: Where we lead... - AnthroHeart - 09-02-2010
You're doing well. Holding the light and offering best intentions for your daughter. This has influence.
RE: Where we lead... - seagrass - 09-02-2010
Your song story gave me the chills.
I have a niece that I have to do this with. I am not her mother...so I have less "authority" or "responsibility" but I tried to get in the door another way... I shared my experiences and my curiosity and my understanding about her drug use and boys and such. I let her know that I had been in similar situations and why.
Some problems and dramas I believe cant be helped by our parents but by peers or friends, but then the parents have an unconditional role to play. Hopefully your daughter will receive the "friend/teacher" when the time is right.
I have a "boyfriend" that is in a similar downward spiral but is at a point of reaching out and pulling away at the same time. It is very difficult to keep unconditional love when someone is taking it out on you and being somewhat abusive. It is very hard for me to keep my ego and pride out of it, as well as rules. But if I get angry..something strange begins to happen. It is almost as if I HAVE to be nice or it effects ME. I have to be nice while knowing I think I am justified in anger and that I "should" be defensive or self respectful.
RE: Where we lead... - Brittany - 09-02-2010
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful principle. Examples speak volumes more than anything we could preach, in my opinion.
RE: Where we lead... - norral - 09-02-2010
dear beautiful zanny
thanks you for having the courage to share your beautiful story. it
really touched me deeply. we have 4 children, 1 was easy 3 were not.
they have all turned out well and they all had to reach the point where
they realized the only person they were really hurting was themselves.
i will remember your child in my prayers and all the many children in
our society who are in similar situations. may the angels continue to
embrace you and your family
love
norral
RE: Where we lead... - zanny - 09-02-2010
(09-02-2010, 08:04 AM)fairyfarmgirl Wrote: Zanny-- This is something that many empaths are working on. It is very easy to be led into a feeling state (very different from emotional which is LOVE, feelings are Fear based) by another.
I like the way you put that...very helpful.
There are a good many reasons why this happens. Sometimes it is simply energy entrainment. Entrainment happens when an energy or sound overpowers the energies or sounds around it. Thus, the only course the overwhelmed can take is to become entrained to the noise. This happens all the time. It is also called catching a vibe (good or bad).
So the challenge when faced with entrainment is to raise ones frequency above it all (takes tremendous focus which is often not possible when freaked out by the discord) or to remove yourself from the entrainment. Calm down and raise your frequency and then face the source of the noise with calming LOVE.
I have a challenging child as well. I am learning to no longer be entrained to my childs' shennegans. And as I cease to participate the shennagans become less and less. My intuition indicates that by doing so the noise will no longer be fed and will be transformed into something that is more positive.
I have also placed the responsibility for the results of this noise on the noise makers shoulders. Thus, allowing for natural consequences to take place rather than interfering and trying to help make the situation better. This has allowed my noisemaker to experience the full range of their choices. And ultimately learn from their experiences.
I found what you were saying to be quite clear. It may feel like you are rambling, however, it is clear you are learning to shore up your energy and cease to take on water from others.
Love--
fairyfarmgirl
fairyfarmgirl, Thank you~! What you wrote here is very helpful to me. The part about everyone being responsible for their own noise is very profound. I will look into the "peace pilgrim" you speak of. Maybe you could provide a helpful link? Thanks,
zanny
(09-02-2010, 09:16 AM)Gemini Wolf Wrote: You're doing well. Holding the light and offering best intentions for your daughter. This has influence.
Thank you Gemini Wolf...I am doing my best.
zanny
RE: Where we lead... - thefool - 09-03-2010
I hope the little lamb comes back to you...
RE: Where we lead... - fairyfarmgirl - 09-03-2010
Zanny and all:
Peace Pilgrim can be found at www.peacepilgrim.com. The book is free in analogue form or digital.
--fairyfarmgirl
RE: Where we lead... - zanny - 09-04-2010
(09-02-2010, 11:59 AM)seagrass Wrote: Your song story gave me the chills.
I have a niece that I have to do this with. I am not her mother...so I have less "authority" or "responsibility" but I tried to get in the door another way... I shared my experiences and my curiosity and my understanding about her drug use and boys and such. I let her know that I had been in similar situations and why.
Some problems and dramas I believe cant be helped by our parents but by peers or friends, but then the parents have an unconditional role to play. Hopefully your daughter will receive the "friend/teacher" when the time is right.
I have a "boyfriend" that is in a similar downward spiral but is at a point of reaching out and pulling away at the same time. It is very difficult to keep unconditional love when someone is taking it out on you and being somewhat abusive. It is very hard for me to keep my ego and pride out of it, as well as rules. But if I get angry..something strange begins to happen. It is almost as if I HAVE to be nice or it effects ME. I have to be nice while knowing I think I am justified in anger and that I "should" be defensive or self respectful.
Hi seagrass,
I also feel that sometimes when I get angry. Sometimes it's like I know that anger is wrong or that it will effect me negatively, and the act of analyzing it takes the anger away.
Maybe that is when you notice the behavior of the "other" in a clearer way. Like when you say you "should be" defensive because that is a natural reaction when being attacked but you are not being defensive because you know better. Is that what you are saying?
(09-02-2010, 04:11 PM)ahktu Wrote: Thank you for sharing such a beautiful principle. Examples speak volumes more than anything we could preach, in my opinion.
I need the examples...Otherwise they are just words on a page. (flat)
(09-02-2010, 04:42 PM)norral Wrote: dear beautiful zanny
thanks you for having the courage to share your beautiful story. it
really touched me deeply. we have 4 children, 1 was easy 3 were not.
they have all turned out well and they all had to reach the point where
they realized the only person they were really hurting was themselves.
i will remember your child in my prayers and all the many children in
our society who are in similar situations. may the angels continue to
embrace you and your family
love
norral
Thank you norral, your words of hope make my heart sing~! I also have four children, Two grown and out of the house. Thank you for your prayers for mine and all children.
zanny
(09-03-2010, 12:12 PM)thefool Wrote: I hope the little lamb comes back to you...
Thank you, she came back and then when she turned 18 moved out and is off living her life and learning her lessons...I am quite proud of her strength and courage to do it on her own (as she says). But I know that she has guidance and is following her own path...If it will align with mine anytime soon is yet to be determined at this point in time...
zanny
(09-03-2010, 09:37 PM)fairyfarmgirl Wrote: Zanny and all:
Peace Pilgrim can be found at www.peacepilgrim.com. The book is free in analogue form or digital.
--fairyfarmgirl
Thanks for the link~!
zanny