Relationships

[phosphorus]

2nd post
Theres so much love that I feel from this site! Certainly homelike here!

My relationship is dying a death. He's pretty way out himself (shamanic practitioner stuff), but he's suffering because I no longer have the tendancy to do the psychological/subjective level. It's loveliest in my heart, and I've been mostly ripple-free since March, thanks to the first of several particularly amazing out of bod. experiences. From then on, its life has been less and less time orientated, more filled with synchronicity and pleasure. I've naturally gone deeper into yoga/meditaion every day, mostly raw food that I grow, plus nuts and spring water. I've been for years into internal organ cleansing with fastings and herbs, so thats become more present. My vibe feels high, I love it high, it takes maintenance and its SO worth it.

I cannot be in a rel. now, cus I'm free, not limited, and cannot be focussing my love/energy on him to the extent I used to. It would drain me. I have so much love that seems to flood out of me, and it's for everyone, unconditionally. I feel like I cannot do my life purpose as well if he remains attached.

He feels utterly freaked, jealous and all sorts of other things. I can no longer go into his emotional baggage anymore, or be chance being a part of it. It's the time to let go. My mind readily admits that it has no more answers to give, and that its out of it's depth.

All around me, there are people waking up. Sometimes it seems like almost everyone I come into contact with is lifting up, feeling something higher, and having a clearer feeling of Truth. I'm so so excited by this, and feel like letting go of everything and moving fearlessly and deeper into this peace, contentment etc.

My focus has moved in the direction of my friends, especially new friends who I've made since March. My hermit dna now is next to some dna of its opposite! I cannot limit this love, and just want to share it, and anchor us all in light as DKJ says!

How do you feel re. relationships? If you're in one, what changes do you notice?

[Questioner]

It's interesting that your guy is also a spiritual explorer. I imagine that a shaman would be able to understand and support the importance of your own spiritual quest, your experience of knowledge downloads and other altered states, etc. That kind of sympathetic understanding may be hard to find, as you know.

I think of a shaman's path as one that leads or guides people to discover the negative spiritual forces that oppress them. This way the people can choose their struggle for freedom, then invite more positive spiritual forces to bless their lives without obstruction. Yet you describe someone jealous if you can't participate in his own emotional baggage.

From what I've read about shamanism, wouldn't a mature shaman need to experience his own healing, in order to provide guidance to other people's healing?

From Ra:

The best way of service to others is the constant attempt to seek to share the love of the Creator as it is known to the inner self. This involves self knowledge and the ability to open the self to the other-self without hesitation. This involves, shall we say, radiating that which is the essence or the heart of the mind/body/spirit complex.

You certainly have hesitation. I read your comments as showing that you feel that your openness to his needs is a drain on you, keeping you from expressing your own openness to the other people you'd feel drawn to love and serve. Have you tried to redefine how the relationship can meet your needs as well as his? Was this ever defined in the first place?

I don't have answers for you today, just trying to understand more of the situation.

Who is DKJ?

[Namaste]

Welcome to the forum, sister. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

To share some relationship catalyst of my own...

In a very short period of time, I experienced a rapid spiritual evolution; tastes in music, films, conversation, food, company all changed, along with of course beliefs and personal truths regarding the meaning of life. My goals became aligned with serving others as best I could. I was worried that my partner would not love me for my true self that I was discovering, and she was worried that I would not love her because she was not (and still is not) 'actively' following a spiritual path (added quotes as one is always on the spiritual path, consciously or not). I also felt trapped, in that I could not express myself honestly in fear of conflict (humans like to avoid painful situations, at any cost). As you can imagine, our fears yielded much unease and discontentment.

After much struggle, I stopped using my ego to evaluate the situation, and instead searched inwardly. Contemplation is a fantastic tool. I discovered, as I already knew intellectually, I have the power to choose, and realised I had given my power away by supporting and perpetuating a negative belief pattern that I could not be my true self in the relationship.

The only thing that can break the perpetual cycle of fear is love. Love is honesty, integrity, appreciation, compassion, courage, kindness and openness (to name but a few). From this, we spoke heart to heart. Much healing took place, and our understandings of each other grew. This takes effort from both involved, one cannot accomplish this with another who has no interest in adapting to new circumstances. If the relationship works when both being true to the self, it works. If it doesn't, it's not to be.

The lesson being presented to me was to be fearless; to allow myself to be myself, no matter the situation. That is the most important thing one can do, and if another is opposing you from doing so, action taken such as your own - moving on - is a positive step.

With regards to love, that's been a great challenge for me. I do not love some people more than others, I offer it to all as best I can. My partner will often ask 'do you love me more than anything in the world?', and I will reply, 'I love you'.

There are no right or wrong choices. We are free to choose. Problems only arise when one chooses, and does not align their being with that choice (through doubt, fear and worry). Abraham is always proposing this notion, and I stumbled upon this video of Sadhguru also supporting that notion. Here is another worth watching.

Your (ex) partner, from your description, is showing clear signs of STS polarity. Fear based thoughts and actions. He is an important example of how one orientated on healing others can hold imbalances in personal contexts, something many people are unaware of.

L&L

[CircleofOne]

Again I see myself reflected in others here, this is an amazing place on the internet! My situation is similar to Namaste's in that my partner is aware of the path that I'm on, and is aware to some extent of what I've come to realize about Oneness, without necessarily following it as in depth. It's been hard, particularly in the past 6 months as I dropped out of graduate school and am unemployed, coupled with a sharp decline in desire for material experience.

What I would add is what you already know: You can make any choices in this life that you want, and no one has any true power to say that any one path is more or less worthy than another. You have nothing to fear from making any choice, because as you know there are no mistakes, only experience and lessons derived from it. If something doesn't resonate with you, it simply doesn't resonate. You can only give the gift of true self, it's up to others to decide what they will do with it.

Love and Light to you!

[fairyfarmgirl]

Sometimes a Shaman is actually a Master manipulator. MM's always seek those who are healers but have not stepped into their power due to boundary issues.

Stand Tall sister for you are an Angel after all. Start by seeking out which emotions and impressions are really yours and then begin to define yourself based on what is yours not theirs.

Not all Shaman are MM's only the ones that are pretending in order to steal from others. They are very good catalyst for learning to stand up and take responsibilty for your own boundaries. This is challenging to see. It seems that you are beginning to see this from your post. Good Job!

You are wise to work on yourSelf at this time. Being in a relationship when you are new to maintaining your own healthy boundaries is a test that is premature. It is wise to shore up your own boat before sailing off into the sunset. Leaky boats tend to take on water and ultimately sink. Since you are chosing to Float your Boat this is a wise decision.

I know a thing or two about being swamped by a leaky boat. Figuratively and literally. I Bless your HEART with LOVE.

As for my relationship-- it is truly magical as I shored up my boat and am floating in a sea of Love that is a joy to behold. Keeping that boat of mine floating takes work... and my dear mate is a true gem... so no stealing of power... but a building of energy through equal exchange of nuturance and mutual respect. The trip though took a long while... and if I had had the foresight to recognize the negative catalyst before hubby I would have found him sooner instead of later. All is well, now.

fairyfarmgirl

[phosphorus]

Wow, such clear, insightful and generous replies! Thanks us all for exploring and sharing!

Questioner: "Have you tried to redefine how the relationship can meet your needs as well as his? Was this ever defined in the first place?"

I feel such a shift that my psyche no longer experiences 'need' in the same way as it used to. I've never had a sexual urge/drive/desire (I totally get why this is the case, though for years wondered what I was 'missing' out on). Even on a psychological level, I'm not conscious of having the kinds of thought processes or feelings that drive me towards seeking one other person in order to get intimit with. Intimicy is with self and all, without picking and choosing. I don't see intimicy as being synonomous with continuing a soul contract where one requires the other to go through their stuff with them, never to leave the infinite psychological level, and going around in circles/spirals, holding on for 'solutions' that are constantly changing.

Shamans are human beings with job-description labels- simple as. They are not necessarily blind-spot free and fully conscious. We are all still growing and learning, with shamans not necessary any more awake than the gardeners, window cleaners and chefs among us! We know how awakening can happen, it can feel rapid, gradual or intermittent. We may feel our awareness/vibration slipping at times, we can easily maintain it at other times. I do feel its getting deeper and quicker for loads of us, and still, the soul moves us to continue growing through yet more experience etc, shamans, the lot of us!

Namaste: Thanks so much for the links- I will listen to them tomorrow during yoga. It sounds like you both are living moment to moment and in synch. Thats what my life feels like when he's not around, moment to moment and in synch with everything. I cannot subscribe to anything other than the moment, without my energy taking a noticeable dive. He's the only person that has such an effect on me. I have so little experience of the type of karma that causes psychological battles anything like what he goes through. I feel so simple and open compared to him, but its my openness that suffers, cus unless I protect myself (which I previously only rarely ever felt like doing), I feel drained and feel more dense and slow. It's clearly the end, and I feel I have already lost him as my good good friend. I realise that its a letting go, and sometimes we let go of beautiful things too in order to keep growing and moving.

Namaste, I get exactly where you're coming from re Unconditional Love, and feeling your love is equal, and your partner wondering if he/she is top of the list or not. All you can do is repeat what you have already said to him/her. I resonate with what you said about how the healing orientated types can be STS (what does this stand for? I'm only intimating its meaning by way of context, which may be enough!). It's the whole Chiron, WOunded Healer role. It can seem so complicated to me, just so not what I'm drawn to (some aspects of shamanism).

CircleofOne, I know what you mean about the decline in your interest re. the material, and the 'struggle' that can arise as a result of the ties to living resources such as costly electricity, petrol/gas, food and general stuff we think we need. My feeling is that its all changing fast, so it's never worth the energy spent worrying! Security and comfort etc are irrelevant to Higher Self, so we don't automatically have them guaranteed, like we do prana and love- it may be the time to ask for more help on this level. I know thats what I will start to do when I meditate in a bit.

Fairyfarmgirl, I'm amazed by your post, and will write more tomorrow, cus what you say about shamans hits the nail on the head. A beautiful post, that helped me feel yet warmer, and loved all over again (moment to moment!). More tomorrow though!

Thanks again you beauties!

Love reaching out to all hearts!

[Questioner]

STS (what does this stand for? I'm only intimating its meaning by way of context, which may be enough!

Service-to-Self, one of the two fundamental polarities of spiritual evolution, the other being Service-to-Others.

Channeled messages from entity groups Ra and Q'uo are the basis of L/L Research, the host of this forum. All their material is available for free through the Library link at the top of the forum. (There's a LOT of other channeled/intuitive material about this polarity, but at this forum we should only mention that other material in passing...)

Let me give you a quick sketch of my interpretation, and invite you to explore the original texts, plus the abundance of detailed discussions on the forum.

Density refers to a level of conscious awareness and spiritual evolution. First density is the archetypal elements - earth, air, fire, water. Second density is plant and animal life, mostly with collective souls throughout their species, some with individual awareness especially if they're around people. Third density is our current capacity to make individual moral choices.

Higher densities are hard for us to comprehend, but we know that 4th is mainly about loving compassion, such as the life of Jesus; 5th is mainly about wisdom; and 6th is mainly about balance. By the end of 6th density evolution, the STS path is discarded because its rejection of heartfelt love is unsustainable for further growth. 8th or 9th density is reunion with the Creator. This cycle is a giant octave that may well have been played before in previous universes and will likely be played again after this universe's options are all explored.

The premise is that our current life on earth is an opportunity to choose whether we are ready to advance to a higher degree of spiritual evolution. Our readiness to evolve comes from choosing one of the polarized options, STS or STO. Humans tend to start life at around 25% oriented towards helping others with love and compassion.

To have an intense enough polarity for graduation or Ascension to Fourth Density, we need to be either at least 51% oriented to serve others, bless and love them at least as much as our own selfish concerns; or, we must polarize to be really aggressive empire-builders less than 5% oriented to serve others. For the average person, it's equally difficult to reach either level of polarity.

We're currently at the end of a 25,000 year cycle in which polarized souls - either positively or negatively polarized will work - move on to a new level of existence: Fourth Density (some say we'll zoom past that and wind up in Fifth Density). The 2012 forum has debates about whether this might occur "in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye," or be a process that spans centuries.

If we miss this opportunity at Harvest, because we aren't intensely evolved enough, then our souls go to further 3D experiences in another very long-term opportunity to figure out which side of the Choice we want to make.

3D on earth is subject to a Veil that keeps us from being able to fully understand our spiritual situation. This means that only our own faith and morality determines our own Choice.

4D positive souls will remain on the Earth, which also Ascending into her own 4th density experience. We'll get to enjoy far more spiritually advanced lifes of love and harmony, as far beyond current society as human life is beyond a pack of dogs. 4D negative souls will wind up on another planet where they can vigorously work at enslaving each other, beating each other up, creating bizarre Ponzi schemes and all the other types of things they like to do... AWAY at last from interference with more positive types.

Gotta run, Doctor Who is on! I'll catch up with you later today or tomorrow. I hope this summary helps the forum make some more sense to you.
:idea:

[Wander-Man]

My vibe feels high, I love it high, it takes maintenance and its SO worth it.

I cannot limit this love, and just want to share it, and anchor us all in light as DKJ says!

These quotes made me feel a lot of for some reason. Weird. Thanks, lol.