Attempting to consciously perceive catalysts/biases/distortions

[Jeremy]

So I'm reading all I can about the processing of catalyst along with recognizing ones biases based upon whatever emotional response was invoked. 


A snippet of a transcript states the following


http://www.llresearch.org/transcripts/is..._0205.aspx





The means of going after these goals, however, is usually very much a free will choice so that there is not one right or correct response to incoming catalyst. The attitude of the seeker in this wise might, perhaps, be skillful to choose the far-seeing eye when gazing at a situation in which there is catalyst, not moving upon impulse, not concluding quickly concerning issues, but, rather, remaining serene in the sure and certain knowledge that your destiny will provide continual opportunities to follow through with the lessons that you have identified for your own self.


This is great advice when gazing upon a situation from the outside but what about mid conversation? I imagine such contemplation between sentences would make for an odd experience for the other self so how does one attempt to reconcile a particular bias while within the moment? Would it be better to reflect upon the interaction after the fact then attempt apply the fruits of this reflection the next time? 

[Jeremy]

Well guess I should've read more as one potential answered is listed further down lol


So we would suggest that you be eager and hungry for those processes of change. Recognize discomfort as the hallmark of inner work being done, and recollect at all times that this work is not mental. You may think and muse endlessly concerning catalyst, but the way that catalyst is seated in the experiences of the seeker is, for the greater part, functioning within the deep mind of which you are not conscious. The key, then, in this regard is allowing time to pass until the heart feels and senses truth. It cannot be rushed. It cannot be figured out. Although these processes do aid in a growing grasp of the incarnational pattern that you have, they cannot take that essence that is you to a more truthful or genuine expression of self. You are not here to understand and know the self beyond a certain point. You are not here to become perfect. You are here within an illusion which forces you to seek beyond the limits of that which is visible or knowable.

This is generally how I've been reviewing the day as far as potential moments of catalyst or learning.

Has anyone else accomplished this processing in other ways?

[rva_jeremy]

Would it be better to reflect upon the interaction after the fact then attempt apply the fruits of this reflection the next time?

Well, I think part of the gist of the excerpt is that you won't be able to necessarily identify the fruit in the first place, either in the moment or afterwards. I tend to strive towards simply paying attention and feeling deeply in the situation and afterwards--not that that's easy at all, I'm horrible at it. It's just very, very important to not set yourself up for disappointment by assuming that you're going to follow this one strategy and "figure it out". I struggle deeply, deeply with this--that even when I dive headfirst into pain, I'm doing it at some level to avoid future or greater pain. I have not learned, in other words, to surrender the way our Confederation friends suggest.

I find an attitude of inquisitiveness about discomfort to be an interesting way to engage it that doesn't need to classify and judge the situation. It's kind of like those Halloween Touch & Feel boxes where you stick your hand in the box and feel brains (which are really spaghetti)? You kind of have to dive right in, in my opinion, but not the way you dive into a workout routine, to get it over with for a particular result. More the way you dive into a completely unknown situation, like starting a conversation in a language you don't know well, where anything literally could happen and your burning desire is to have a completely new experience. The less you can feel dread and the more you can pay attention and cultivate curiosity for these experiences, the more material you give yourself, I believe, for balancing and integration. As Pema Chödrön says, the interesting question is not whether this situation is bad or good, right or wrong; it's that, once we drink it deeply, what comes next?