Is there yellow-ray love?

[Melissa]

What do you mean by you've gotten used to her anger? Doesn't it affect you as much?
By the way, I'm not much of a social butterfly either but I've found it makes a huge difference if I'm with people who are uplifting and inspiring (generally) or folks who are rather pessimistic.

[AnthroHeart]

She's not nearly as angry as she used to be. So the times that she is angry I can accept her. She curses a lot when she's angry. That used to get to me more.

A lot of the furries are younger people, sometimes in their teens, who do video games all the time. So I don't go to many furmeets.

[Melissa]

Well, I'm glad that your relationship has improved. And if I would live nearby I'd definitely stop by in a furry suit, just for fun

[AnthroHeart]

A real fursuit can cost $1500 or so for a full body one. They aren't cheap.
I'd like that.

[xise]

It's not STS to serve yourself as much as you serve others if you are treating yourself as an other self and showing no favoritism.

It's STS to serve yourself more than others, without consideration for others.

GW, It sounds like you serve your mother a lot. You get to give yourself the same amount of consideration (equal consideration to all other selves including yourself is STO IMHO). Remember, STO is about unconditional love. If you only show love to others and not yourself, that's conditional love - the condition being you love anyone but yourself. Loving all is STO. Only choosing to love yourself with no consideration of others is STS.

Giving yourself more love GW than you are currently would be more a expression of STO and nconditional love, because you haven't given yourself as much love in the past and you are always considerate of others. Now, I understand that it's important to consider that your mother physically needs more help than yourself, and that's a factor to include. But you still gotta consider yourself a bit brother.

Another way to think of it is that you are a third person deciding to serve GW and GW's mother. StO would be considerating GW and GW's mother both and loving them equally and serving them equally together. Despite an equal love, the third party may end helping your mother a but more because she is physically disabled etc. but they are still gonna shower GW with love because you are an other self as well. That is STO. If as a third party you only serve GW's mother and ignore GW and not consider GW, you are more conditional in your love.

I think too often people mistake helping themselves as STS. It's not. It's when you help yourself exclusively without consideration of others as a philosophy does that become StS. You are also an other self who is to be loved and considered and helped. Remember, unconditional love helps and considers all equally, including yourself. It doesn't sound like you've given yourself as much consideration as you have your mother, GW, so don't ignore her or anything but try to balance her desires with your own when deciding who to help in a particular occasion.


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To give another example:

Say there are 5 people you're in contact with and can serve, including yourself and you have 5 days of helping out. You'd normally devote 1 day to each person, including yourself, but the numbers may be adjusted for consideration. Are you seriously sick? All 5 to yourself. Is someone else seriously in emergency need? Maybe all 5 days to that person.

If you are a Jesus type figure who is so intensely balanced that you have no desires that are to be addressed, you may dedicate all 5 days to the 4 other people in normal circumstances. But that state much flow naturally. It should not be forced.

If one of the other five claims to be a Jesus type figure and wants you to help the other 4 including yourself, you'd still consider how he was handling things without any help and still try to be considerate if he ended up needing help despite his words.

In the 5 person example, an STS would always help himself without even considering that ther people exist for the purposes of consideration and service.

So as you can see, STS and STO both can help themselves, but they do so in different ways and philosophies.

[AnthroHeart]

I've learned to say no to my mom at times, especially when she's trying to be controlling. She was screaming at her phone at the top of her voice, and that bothers me because I don't like people shouting. I shouted back at her to shut up. It's the first time I've done so. Not sure if I am lacking yellow or green ray love when I get into an argument like that. She didn't say anything back to me. She got me quite angry.

Maybe I am not as balanced as I thought, because her throwing a tantrum upsets me because it goes on and on. She carries on for a long time.

And then she expects me to carry her wheelchair out to the truck. It's heavy, like 100+ pounds, in 3 parts that I have to disassemble and reassemble like 4 times to go to the store. I don't like this burden of carrying it, as it's a chore. And she doesn't seem even thankful for me doing it. She'd just rather ride around on her wheelchair than to take a shopping cart and do it the regular way. But it's been a few months since I've had to carry her wheelchair. She's talking about possibly needing it soon.

Then she commands me to take my dogs outside when they're perfectly happy indoors. They make me happy being inside with me. They've already been out to relieve themselves this morning. I have a fenced in yard that's 1/2 acre in the back. So I never have to clean up after them. They go back in the woods.

[Hotsizzle77]

I assumed I would walk the steps of light when I had departed Earth. But perhaps I am confused. Maybe departing by means of focusing the will upon that desire might be considered a form of suicide, however ritualized it is. I don't want to be this close to harvest and somehow blow it.

I don't want to repeat 3D, even one incarnation. I guess the best way to depart is through accessing intelligent infinity, which Ra says that once you've accessed that most people choose to stay to help others. I've helped others a lot. I've served my mother beyond my comfort zone.

But I can learn to love life. I want to be fully conscious about where I focus my will. It just felt like the right thing to do.

Don't do anything to blow your harvest brother, hang in there. We are all on the same boat. Keep meditating and keep sending love, yes of course I would love to harvest,but the only way we can do that is through the lessons of 3rd density.

You're a beautiful person man, much love!

[AnthroHeart]

Thanks for the warning about blowing my harvest. I definitely don't want to do that.

Just realized that I said that I didn't want to blow it. Thought you had invented that Hotsizzle.

Meditation and sending love make life bearable. I don't really watch tv that much. I don't get much opportunity or really any for furry stuff. A lot of the other furs are teenagers or young college students and just want to game at the furmeets. So I don't go to them. I'll also keep praying. I can visualize furries and feel good about it.

I realized that focusing about departing doesn't really work anyway. Focusing the will in that way must probably be done over a long period of time. I haven't lost the will to live. I haven't lost the love of life. I'm just a little impatient.

My lessons of 3rd density as said before is the love of life. Even love of long life. Perhaps I can serve more the longer I am here. I can't wait for retirement.

[xise]

[AnthroHeart]

I could definitely find green-ray love with these two. I might be nervous around them though. Unless they were 4D beings who had unconditional love. I only get green-ray love from my dogs, but they can't provide the companionship that these two could provide, were they real. But still it's good to long isn't it? Is it good to long for something?