Seeker

[auntiemable]

My story begins in a thrift store about 3 years ago now. There was a paperback book called Communion by Whitley Strieber for ten cents tossed haphazardly on a shelf. I've always been interested in aliens or, as I now think of them, other worldly beings, so I bought the book. After reading it, I decided to see what other books Whitley had written and offhandedly chose The Key: A True Encounter. That book changed my life forever.
When I finished that book, I started seeking from that point forward and never looked back. I read and read, and read some more. I ended up reading The Ascension Mysteries by David Wilcock which lead me to the Law of One.
I have had an on again, off again relationship (mostly off) with religion and was an atheist for a period of time. I always had this feeling that I was here for a purpose, but never knew what it was. I was never spiritual and lived my life thinking that this life was all there was.
Here I am today. I meditate every day. I communicate with my higher self using a pendulum. I have heard my dog, who is deceased, walking behind me. I receive messages from the angels via angel numbers. I am working on remembering and deciphering dreams for additional messages from my higher self. I pray every day. I believe, without a doubt, in the one infinite Creator. I have done a partial life regression using my pendulum. I have helped my granddaughter by removing spirits from her home using sage. I have read up to Session 105 in the Law of One. The list goes on.
If you had asked me several years ago whether I would do any of these things, I would've said you were crazy. I awakened quite late in life at the age of 54 and, sometimes, I feel like I was gypped. It seems to me that it would have been so much easier to seek when I was younger and it would've given me more time to reach the magic number of 51%. I don't dwell on that, though, and keep on, keeping on.
I've always had trouble "fitting in" and so I questioned my pendulum about being a wanderer. I've learned that I'm from Maldek and that even though I'm technically a 'transplant', I'm considered a wanderer. So here I wander on this beautiful planet called Earth trying to make the best of my remaining time here in service to others.

[Nau7ik]

I think it's so fascinating to hear others stories. Interesting synchronicities, opportune times, Right book or words at the right time...

I don't think you were "gypped". Your time for awakening was just as it should've been, not before and not after. All that your life has gone through has lead you to this present moment. There are no mistakes! Those who have the highest and best chance to attain graduation or harvestiblity are on this planet at this time. Many (most) there are who sleep and ignore the "spiritual alarm clock."

All is well. And we are happy to have you here with us at B4.

[rva_jeremy]

Welcome fellow seeker!  Thanks for sharing your story.

If you had asked me several years ago whether I would do any of these things, I would've said you were crazy. I awakened quite late in life at the age of 54 and, sometimes, I feel like I was gypped. It seems to me that it would have been so much easier to seek when I was younger and it would've given me more time to reach the magic number of 51%. I don't dwell on that, though, and keep on, keeping on.

Maybe I can give you some perspective, because I feel like I really understand where you're coming from but from the opposite side.  I've been interested in metaphysics and spirituality since I was a pre-teen--but I had parents who were into it and made it a normal thing.  Not sure I'd have ever been open to it were it not for my upbringing, although who knows.  I remember distinctly going to a Course in Miracles study group in college, and all the 40-60-somethings complementing me about how "advanced" I was.

I still made all the stupid, venal, confusing mistakes, ALL OF THEM.  I still struggle mightily.  I have several atheist, worldly friends who I find to be much more balanced spiritual teachers than I could hope to be, not because of what they know but because of who they are.  I don't feel I got a head start at all on any of the parts that really matter and that seem to enrich my life so much now.  The reason is that all the information in the world about our greater reality matters very, very little if you don't have the experiences that allow you to ground the information in your actual life.  The path is not one that we simply think; we also feel it, and depth of feeling is a hard won prize that nobody simply "figures out".

What are those experiences, those lessons I speak of?  Suffering. Disappointment. Despair. Loneliness. Heartbreak. The list goes on and on when it comes to things you are so much ahead of me on, the things in life that really teach, the things that we say build character but what I really am starting to see are the things that release your character and inner nature.

In a way, waking up strikes me as kind of a bummer in one sense: now it's one's responsibility to consciously push oneself forward, instead of simply letting the current of life teach you.  Now one has to make decisions about how one is to feel and think, instead of just reacting.  And one is still in the dark; one simply knows of the possibility of a candle.  You have so much raw material to work with!  I feel I am only in the last blip of my 38 years starting to take genuine ownership of my evolutionary track.  

Do not feel like you have missed anything, because it takes all of us as long as it takes us, period.  There's just no other sane way to think about spiritual evolution in my opinion, because we don't see clearly enough to make optimal decisions that we could possibly hold ourselves accountable for.  The scarce time is that between opening your eyes in the morning and closing them as you fall asleep.  Any greater span of time is impossible, I think, to really reason about in a manner that confers any genuine spiritual agency, and guilt is just a lesson to work through.