tipping point

[seejay21]

I had an experience about 3 weeks ago that I meant to post about but never did, so my details are a bit forgotten. I was sitting on the edge of the bed talking to my girlfriend about something, I don't remember what, when suddenly each moment started connecting to each next moment in a very surreal way. The veil was coming down, and the illusion was about to cease to exist. I felt the urge to cry, but i knew if I did, it would reach a tipping point and the world would end right there and then. I wasn't ready for that, so I fought it off. I fought off the urge to cry so I would not loose the illusion. I wasn't ready to do that. I suppose the catalyst that set my off was that my dog died two days before, and it was my fault because she had gotten into some rat bait that I had put out. (nothing personal against rats, just rat poop) I felt really bad about my dogs death and my role, but I felt worse that I didn't feel bad enough, and I was ashamed of it.

This tipping point sensation was exactly the same as in my wanderer post here:

http://www.bring4th.org/forums/showthread.php?tid=594

I felt the urge to cry exactly in the same way as in that post. I was also feeling the same sort of "orchestrated" series of events about to occur. I knew exactly what was about to happen, and as beautiful and wonderful I knew it would be, I just couldn't bring myself to give up my life right then and there while sitting on the edge of the bed. I was afraid about it. I knew how to find the light, but you gotta go down in the dark hole first right after you cease to exist in the illusion. yikes. I had to stop thinking about it, wanting to cry,and especially before I started pondering the Divine choice, which I knew was coming. The dynamics of this question are very odd. You both know the question, and know the question not at the same time. You are always trying to answer it desperately. When you cant hear the question clearly, you say in your mind "what? pardon?!" then when you sort of hear the question, in your mind you say "I don't understand!", and when you finally hear the question you say "Please no! Please no! I don't know! I don't know!" and down the hole you go. At some point it flips, and you find yourself in the light with the perfect answer to the question, which is basically the essence of love.

I didn't want to do all that, but it was coming on spontaneously. I could barely control it. I barely stopped it. I know I'll have to do it again, but why today? After I got a hold of myself, I had some pretty neat insights about us wanderers and why we are here. Sadly, I don't remember them except that I knew I needed to stay right here and finish my work, which isn't done yet. I also had a realization that many, MANY STO wanderers are the soldiers fighting the wars of this density. Fighting a war doesn't sound very STO, but in this case it is. This density's m/b/s dream up the war, the wanderer fights the war to protect the native density m/b/s from being in the war they dreamed up. Kind of sick, but that's how it works more or less.

I'm fearful of this spontaneous enlightenment thing, this tipping point. Has anyone heard of that before? This is the 3rd time for me looking over the edge, and not jumping.

I wonder if this is how harvest will work.

[Questioner]

I'm fearful of this spontaneous enlightenment thing, this tipping point. Has anyone heard of that before? This is the 3rd time for me looking over the edge, and not jumping.

I wonder if this is how harvest will work.

You might find comfort in re-reading what Ra and Q'uo have to say about the nature of Harvest. I think that your experience of being forced to an edge, and nearly pushed over with instability, is not related to the Law of One description of Harvest.

The second class of those who ward this process are those of the Confederation who have the honor/duty of standing in the small places at the edge of the steps of light/love so that those entities being harvested will not, no matter how confused or unable to make contact with their Higher Self, stumble and fall away for any reason other than the strength of the light. These Confederation entities catch those who stumble and set them aright so that they may continue into the light..... Thus the harvest is automatic in that those harvested will respond according to that which is unchangeable during harvest. That is the violet ray emanation. However, these helpers are around to ensure a proper harvesting so that each entity may have the fullest opportunity to express its violet ray selfhood.

The spirit complex of each harvested entity moves along the line of light until the light grows too glaring, at which time the entity stops.

Each mind/body/spirit complex has its own patterns of activation and its own rhythms of awakening. The important thing for harvest is the harmonious balance between the various energy centers of the mind/body/spirit complex.

(after harvest)

be placed in the correct true color locus in space/time and time/space at which time the healings and learn/teachings necessary shall be completed and further incarnation needs determined.

The seniority of vibration is to be likened unto placing various grades of liquids in the same glass. Some will rise to the top; others will sink to the bottom. Layers and layers of entities will ensue. As harvest draws near, those filled with the most light and love will naturally, and without supervision, be in line, shall we say, for the experience of incarnation.

The connection between polarization and harvestability is most important in third-density harvest. In this density an increase in the serving of others or the serving of self will almost inevitably increase the ability of an entity to enjoy an higher intensity of light. Thus in this density, we may say, it is hardly possible to polarize without increasing in harvestability.

Taking these together, as I see it the Harvest is a process that is carefully and lovingly guided and assisted. In this process, entities are provided increasing amounts of light and love. Each entity will say for itself, "That's enough for me now, thanks." This will be a nonverbal and automatic expression of the entity's totally integrated identity and level of readiness for further experiences.

In the Harvest out of 3D, the totality of our life energy, as expressed by the violet ray, is the indicator used to guide us to the right outcome for us after Harvest. In 3D, our best preparation for STO Harvest is to know ourselves and to know others through loving kindness and holistic integration of apparent opposites. This is true whether we are Wanderers bringing light to others, or non-Wanderers welcoming light into our own lives for the first time. After Harvest, we effortlessly find ourselves in a situation that brings further healing and growth.

At every point, that's different than the experience you described.

I would encourage you to pray or meditate, whatever that means to you, on the theme of being free of catalyst that only serves to startle and scare you, that separates you from those you love, shoves you to the edge of contradictions and threatens to push you over that edge. If there is a way that these experiences are supposed to support your life mission and aid in this world's Harvest, then you need to know what that way is.

As far as you can tell, these experiences come up suddenly, and they always destabilize and interfere with the good you seek to do in this life. They disintegrate your awareness of cause and effect. They scatter your focus on free will choices. They snuff out ordinary consciousness but they do not replace it with enlightenment.

These experiences might be right about pointing out illusion. However, if you have chosen to visit the cinema, a sudden spotlight which interrupts the experience, highlighting the flatness of the screen, only prevents you from gaining all you hoped to find from watching the story. You find the intrusion scary and disorienting. Notice how many times the Biblical angels said, "fear not." There seems to be a whiff of fear from your experiences.

What happens if you ask for these experiences to stop coming intrusively, for any good purpose to be served another way if possible. What happens if you request protection freeing you from them if they have any kind of negative source or corruption. What happens if you ask for their origin to be made clear to you.

What happens if you insist that, if they are a negative greeting, they stop disrupting your life; and if they are a positive attempt to help, they switch to helping you in a way you can integrate fully without getting discombobulated.

[seejay21]

As far as you can tell, these experiences come up suddenly, and they always destabilize and interfere with the good you seek to do in this life. They disintegrate your awareness of cause and effect. They scatter your focus on free will choices. They snuff out ordinary consciousness but they do not replace it with enlightenment.

It does come suddenly. I don't take leaving this illusion lightly. It's a really big deal. When I think about it coming (daily) I say to myself.. "not yet, not now, we aren't ready, you must hold it back."
Something/someone says to me, "It's time Chris, it is time. Time to go."
I don't feel that the someone is an evil/sts entity. There is a sense of Motherly caring in the words, and I'm a baby, crying about it... "Please mommy no.. I know you love me, but not yet, don't make me do it now."

[Ali Quadir]

Why hold it back? If the situation you are in is safe, so at home, with a loved one present. Go check it out. It's not as if they'll drag you out by your hair, it remains your choice. More importantly, right now you're only seeing one perspective on the event. "It is aproaching" this is a bit frightening. What if the event isn't as big as you expect? What if it is a minor readjustment of your energy, a catalyst speaking through death imagery...

I highly doubt that you will die sitting on a bed. I doubt even more that you'd be able to not die sitting on a bed if it is what must be. What you have here isn't your free will protecting you against your death. It's your subconscious fears manifesting themselves and you're approaching a cycle to get locked into. Every time you avoid this death you will be more likely to do so the next time. The only way out is to break your program. Do the opposite of what you would do. Face death. Death in the occult is an initiation or a symbol for change and not a termination.

I once had the extreme sense of death waiting outside my door. I resisted it for an hour. Then I went to look. Death wasn't there... Just the realization that we're able to frighten ourselves.

[Questioner]

Ali, thank you for the balancing perspective. I took for granted seejay's point of view that the experience is to avoided. Thank you for suggesting the alternative, of walking right into it.

[LsavedSmeD]

I would say it was not a tipping point but an event of initiation.

Like passing an exam that you have given yourself.

My take on it anyways.

[Ali Quadir]

My take too. We tend to put many obstacles in our own way. Maybe it's to keep us from succeeding maybe it's to prove to ourselves step by step we can do it. Which one it is is the result of our choice.

One thing is for sure we tend to underestimate ourselves.

[seejay21]

Much of the fear is from the suprise of it coming on suddenly. I often think of my timeless experience in the light of love which tought me all is one. One beatiful one. I've spent my adult life wondering when the finality would arrive again. I always assumed that the next time I left the illusion I would be doing it the old fashioned way, physical death. I didn't know about the LOO until late last november, or really any other metaphysical spiritual practices or beliefs. I've been trying to find the forest through the trees for a long time. Finding the LOO has givee validation and relief, but not belief. I already had that.

Thanks for the insightful replies. I know what to do now. Instead of getting suprised I will go to it. I will decide when to go, not "it" decide on me. I wonder how I will do it. I think I will start on sunday by meditating. I don't really do that, but have been studying the techniques posted in the forum and elsewhere. I will prepare. Its time chris.

[Ali Quadir]

Good for you... No fear However, it may not be possible to invoke the experience just at will just as yet. There's an eb and flow like the tide. Sometimes is a good time to go into it, sometimes it just won't happen. Don't force yourself to do the impossible.. (That's for next week )

Most important "exercise" I can give you is to be aware. And when such an experience comes... Be completely fully aware and in the now. You don't need to make sense of it, you don't need to control it, just be aware of it fully in the now and without fear. This will anchor the experience and reduce the distance between normal consciousness and these advanced states.