Reverting to the orange ray

[Patrick]

...I work as a nurse.

Do you like your work ?

[Ankh]

Notice how Ankh felt a "relief" after the thought of "worthiness upon power" was bestowed? Then, shortly afterwards, feeling overwhelmed/unworthy by the responsibility, his mind kept throwing different thoughts at him and thus resorting back to orange.

I didn't understand this one. I felt a relief because I went some years now without having a secure job situation. It was on red, orange and yellow ray levels. Blockages, blockages, blockages... And then suddenly there came this security. But then I was overwhelmed by an intense catalyst of not "deserving this", not because of the responsibility which came with this work. If anything than there is less "responsibility" now than before (although I feel more honored).

I am a "she" by the way.

Ankh, I feel for you my friend! I'm wondering, though -- it seems like you expect the reversion into orange ray to be the permanent state rather than the light and joy. Couldn't the heaviness and unworthiness be just as fleeting, and might you not ultimately balance them, too?

Of course, dear one! Although sometimes I dwell in darkness like it is permanent and there is no tomorrow.

In regards to the orange Ra, i think almost have the self acceptance aspect down but i am still in the process of finding a balance between self acceptance the need to change some of my personal negative aspects in order to better serve others than my self.

This reminded me of Ra's:

"The seeker seeks the One. This One is to be sought, as we have said, by the balanced and self-accepting self, *aware both of its apparent distortions and its total perfection*. Resting in this balanced awareness, the entity then opens the self to the universe which it is. The light energy of all things may then be attracted by this intense seeking, and wherever the inner seeking meets the attracted cosmic prana, realization of the One takes place."

Do you like your work ?

Hello dear one, and welcome back!

Whether I like my work or not depends on if my green ray energy center is open or not. My work is rich in catalyst and may provide intense opportunities for quick(er) polarization. I've also been through pretty magical stuff when being at work. Anyways, when the green ray is radiating, there is no better place to manifest it. For instance I can physically touch other selves, provide direct comfort and manifest compassion. But when my green ray is blocked, then I am more of a-"you people make my eyes twitch"-person, and would rather fester than serve/be around other people.

Why did you ask this? What were you thinking of?

[Parsons]

Well... This reaction didn't last long! Shortly after this reaction, there came dark, dark heaviness, and I felt in a very intensive way, and still do, being unworthy of this position, of this employment! There came images and thoughts and emotions in my mind, one after one, of why I was unworthy of this position too. I wanted to cry!

Ankh, I don't think this is anywhere nearly as bad as you are making it out to be. You do seem to be working out a (mostly) orange ray issue, but that does not mean you are reverting to orange ray just because that is what you are currently working with. I think the functioning of the chakras is akin to the maintenance of a car. Just because something falls out of tune occasionally doesn't mean there is something seriously wrong with the vehicle.

I recently went through something close to this with getting a new job which paid better, has better benefits, and is an all around better company and workplace. I also have had some difficulties with self worth and happiness since getting this position despite it being what I asked for (I was barely scraping by paycheck to paycheck before). I redoubled my efforts of self acceptance and this issue has lessened quite a bit.

This is so sad, and brings me so much suffering... I so much want to dwell in the green ray - in a stable and steady way. I would even give up all proceeding into any other higher rays, as long as I would just reach the green one, and stay there (always)! No other ray is more important or desirable by me than this one. But nope!...

Sorry guys, I am just so depressed right now... And this moment should be of light and joy!

I also experience intermittent green ray issues where I feel quite cold and impatient on occasion, so I can certainly commiserate on that point as well.

I always attempt to strive towards green ray but I know it is very important to have all chakras balanced with each other and that no chakra is any more important than another.

The overriding lesson I always come back to is just not being so hard on myself when I stumble a bit. We are all learning and steadily improving and I think most (if not all) of this community is doing a good job of polarizing positively. We are not immune to intense catalyst, however, and we all have our rainy days.

[Jade]

Ankh, I just want to share my piece and say that as a nurse, you are about as STO as you can be in our current culture. Even on those days when you grit your teeth, you are still functioning on a high level of love through those difficult moments. My stepmom just quit her job as a nurse, and the daily horror stories she would have make me feel intense compassion for those who do that job. In fact, in my menial little job I take great pride in the fact that I get to pass off some passive love/light radiation to the myriad of nurses I get to serve each day.

In fact, just recently I had a customer attempt to recruit me to be a nurse, on account of my demeanor. Unfortunately the human body makes me squeamish as all get-out so that line of work is out for me, which just makes me respect nurses even that much more intensely.

Remember you are The Creator - you created this job and this promotion for yourself. Unworthiness is hardly a factor. The joy in the achievement was the truer emotion, I believe. There is great service to do and you have given yourself this opportunity. I hope you can soon accept and embrace it and learn how to use it to bring betterment to yourself and those around you.

[Patrick]

Do you like your work ?

Hello dear one, and welcome back!

Whether I like my work or not depends on if my green ray energy center is open or not. My work is rich in catalyst and may provide intense opportunities for quick(er) polarization. I've also been through pretty magical stuff when being at work. Anyways, when the green ray is radiating, there is no better place to manifest it. For instance I can physically touch other selves, provide direct comfort and manifest compassion. But when my green ray is blocked, then I am more of a-"you people make my eyes twitch"-person, and would rather fester than serve/be around other people.

Why did you ask this? What were you thinking of?

I was just wondering, now that you have job security, if maybe you then felt obligated (on a subconscious level) to stay in this work environment. Then feeling elated from one perspective and caged in from another perspective.

Because personally I refused a lot of opportunities of job security so that I could remain somewhat free in choosing the work environment that stimulates me the most. Thus feeling less like working and more like simply being. That said, in the past 10 years I have been working nearly always at the same place, so I might as well have taken the whole benefit package from becoming a permanent employee.

I'm sure you'll find your way through this. All is well always !

Lots of love to you my friend !

[Ankh]

Ankh, I don't think this is anywhere nearly as bad as you are making it out to be.

Of course not! But is anything as bad as we, in this density, think it is?

I think that this is the whole purpose of this illusion, to teach us something which *is* important, i.e. the lessons of this density. (I was not able to balance this emotion with its proper counterpart due to the lack of time and/or energy, because I've been working too much. So, I either lacked the time to do the balancing work, or I was simply too tired and was in a bad need of sleep instead. But I was able to balance this whole experience on another level by realizing deep within of it being a very profound teaching experience of humility and *compassion* towards my self *and* another self. After this experience I was more patient, and compassionate/understanding towards myself, which led to me being able to manifest more green ray towards my patients than ever before. And I experienced magic! Also, I became more stubborn in my desire of manifesting this green ray, and striving towards it. I wouldn't want to be without this experience, if that makes any sense. )

I recently went through something close to this with getting a new job which paid better, has better benefits, and is an all around better company and workplace.

Congratulations, dear one!

...that no chakra is any more important than another.

Yeah, I know - logically. Beloved Ra said the same too. But... emotionally, I just feel that the green ray is number one for me, and those three lower rays are my "springboard" towards the green, not the green one being the springboard. But I know, I know. And you're right. :-/

The overriding lesson I always come back to is just not being so hard on myself when I stumble a bit. We are all learning and steadily improving and I think most (if not all) of this community is doing a good job of polarizing positively. We are not immune to intense catalyst, however, and we all have our rainy days.

Such a great insight!

Ankh, I just want to share my piece and say that as a nurse, you are about as STO as you can be in our current culture. Even on those days when you grit your teeth, you are still functioning on a high level of love through those difficult moments. My stepmom just quit her job as a nurse, and the daily horror stories she would have make me feel intense compassion for those who do that job. In fact, in my menial little job I take great pride in the fact that I get to pass off some passive love/light radiation to the myriad of nurses I get to serve each day.

In fact, just recently I had a customer attempt to recruit me to be a nurse, on account of my demeanor. Unfortunately the human body makes me squeamish as all get-out so that line of work is out for me, which just makes me respect nurses even that much more intensely.

Remember you are The Creator - you created this job and this promotion for yourself. Unworthiness is hardly a factor. The joy in the achievement was the truer emotion, I believe. There is great service to do and you have given yourself this opportunity. I hope you can soon accept and embrace it and learn how to use it to bring betterment to yourself and those around you.

Thank you for your kind words, beautiful soul!

What do you work with? And are you not feeling well, or is it something wrong with your body? You don't have to tell if you don't want to though, dear soul!

I was just wondering, now that you have job security, if maybe you then felt obligated (on a subconscious level) to stay in this work environment. Then feeling elated from one perspective and caged in from another perspective.

No, not all! On contrary, I feel such a relief to have a (more) secure work situation now! I feel seriously elated/light on all levels, except those feelings of unworthiness of getting this employment. :-/

Because personally I refused a lot of opportunities of job security so that I could remain somewhat free in choosing the work environment that stimulates me the most.

To be honest I refused these opportunities too for these last 3 or so years. But it wasn't because I wanted to be "free" or something (although it is exactly what I told others), but because I felt unworthy of being hired on permanent basis by anyone. I felt so unworthy that I was thinking that it's better that they don't hire me on permanent basis so that they can fire me at any time! :-/

You probably have another situation, but this is mine.

Lots of love to you too, my brother! I am glad that you are back. /

[Jeremy]

The medical field can be a fickle environment when it comes to dealing with ones personal catalysts. It's especially difficult when you are surrounded by jaded other selves who whine about why such and such a person is coming to the ER for a simple cough or because they don't manage their diet properly thus resulting in diabetic issues when they could have solved them by simply living a healthier lifestyle. I too used to be like that but then I chose to realize that regardless of the reasons they are there, they need help so I reciprocate by giving the help.

Though my job as an xray tech is far less patient oriented as ankh's position as a nurse, I make those few minutes count towards listening to a myriad of woes that are completely unrelated to the matter at hand. Comforting these other selves in any way that I can along with providing a loving touch of reassurances that all will be well.

To be able to have first hand access to other selves in such a perilous time is indeed a unique opportunity that beckons those like us to do our very best to put away those jaded thoughts and realize that no matter how bad our life seems, they are the ones that need the most help at that given moment thus our issues take a backseat for the greater good of those other selves who so desperately need to be encouraged to know that everything will get better

[Jade]

Ankh, I just want to share my piece and say that as a nurse, you are about as STO as you can be in our current culture. Even on those days when you grit your teeth, you are still functioning on a high level of love through those difficult moments. My stepmom just quit her job as a nurse, and the daily horror stories she would have make me feel intense compassion for those who do that job. In fact, in my menial little job I take great pride in the fact that I get to pass off some passive love/light radiation to the myriad of nurses I get to serve each day.

In fact, just recently I had a customer attempt to recruit me to be a nurse, on account of my demeanor. Unfortunately the human body makes me squeamish as all get-out so that line of work is out for me, which just makes me respect nurses even that much more intensely.

Remember you are The Creator - you created this job and this promotion for yourself. Unworthiness is hardly a factor. The joy in the achievement was the truer emotion, I believe. There is great service to do and you have given yourself this opportunity. I hope you can soon accept and embrace it and learn how to use it to bring betterment to yourself and those around you.

Thank you for your kind words, beautiful soul!

What do you work with? And are you not feeling well, or is it something wrong with your body? You don't have to tell if you don't want to though, dear soul!

Oh I work as a barista in a tiny little drive up coffee hut. I'm not especially fond of my job, but I had such glaring synchronicity when I started that I feel something needs to scream equally as loud at me before I leave.

I just really try to focus on the fact that I get to, on the majority, serve those who serve others.

My body is fine, my health is well, I'm just biding my time until my husband finishes this final draft of his novel. In the meantime I'll keep learning to be grateful to have such a prime location from which to beam love/light and the opportunity to learn to serve others in exceedingly subtle ways.

[kycahi]

Before I read this thread, I thought that I had a good imagination. I was kinda proud of it, in fact. Now that is in question because I just cannot imagine Ankh being unworthy of anything, especially after doing it for years. So do me a favor, Ankh, and drop that attitude so that I can recover faith in myself.

[Ankh]

Before I read this thread, I thought that I had a good imagination. I was kinda proud of it, in fact. Now that is in question because I just cannot imagine Ankh being unworthy of anything, especially after doing it for years. So do me a favor, Ankh, and drop that attitude so that I can recover faith in myself.

lol! Just because it is you, I will do my best, keeping in my mind that my dear friend needs to recover his faith in himself, so I have work to do! Until then, perhaps you can imagine that this person who is having all these issues with being unworthy is not the real Ankh, but her messed up twin sister? /

[Plenum]

yes, a very good thread Ankh.

back to the original post though, and the relationship between yellow and orange ray, and how one can 'reject societal influences' and revert to orange ray individuality.

my understanding of yellow ray (and hence my relationship to it) has changed somewhat over the years. I originally read it as being captured by its outward expression - ie, being social, interactive, and participating and interacting. And I think, on one level, the expressed activities do demonstrate a relative freedom in this field.

but in Ra's descriptions of yellow ray, they continually reference the fact that it represents the individual in relation to masses of individuals, not just group events like socializing. This 'masses of individuals' is things like the governmental structure, law, social organizations like universities and businesses and the extended family.

"32.3 The yellow ray is a focal and very powerful ray and concerns the entity in relation to, shall we say, groups, societies, or large numbers of mind/body/spirit complexes."

so yellow ray is not just having friends and socializing on weekends : D

- -

I think, as Wanderers, even for those who do not have conscious knowledge of it, there is a felt sense of 'difference' from an early age, and this outsider syndrome, or a 'stranger in a strange land' lends itself quite easily to these yellow ray impediments.

it is like an estrangement from the wider society. And before it ever comes to the level of interaction and engagement and participation, the disaffection is present attitudinally. Ie, it is a mental attitude. Towards the society as a whole.

so to address this, one has to examine one's attitudes towards Society as a whole. Is this place the dead-end of the world? do we want to be here at all? do we regard the 'mass of humanity' as fellow equals, each following their life programming, or do we consider them as brainwashed idiots who deserve what they get?

I think it is these types of attitudes which are at the heart of any yellow ray issues one might have.

[xise]

This thread is personally enlightening. I have long wondered why feeling of my yellow ray revolved around power in a generic sense, and less about my feelings towards other-selves. After reading this thread, I believe my focus on power for yellow concepts stems from two things:


1) Personal Power, is orange-yellow, and I believe my significant orange issues mean I'm doing significant balancing with this orange-yellow personal power concept.


2) My beliefs toward other selves as society or groups, over much of my life, have been about love. I chose the public defender profession to help those less fortunate. Even prior to my awakening, I felt even the most hardened criminal should be treated as a human, and that all people in society have inherent worth. I've always had some sort of faith in other selves as society, and perhaps that why I've struggled less with the concepts involved in this thread about loving all relationships with other selves and loving society.


Looking back, I don't know why I've never mentioned it before, but I feel tons of yellow ray energy when I watch true heroism/standing up for "good" in fictional war movies of good versus evil. I think that's because it emphasizes, for me, that there is good in much of humanity. I thank everyone in this thread for helping me figure this out. And Ankh, much love to you, I love reading about your journey as always

[Ankh]

yes, a very good thread Ankh.

back to the original post though, and the relationship between yellow and orange ray, and how one can 'reject societal influences' and revert to orange ray individuality.

my understanding of yellow ray (and hence my relationship to it) has changed somewhat over the years. I originally read it as being captured by its outward expression - ie, being social, interactive, and participating and interacting. And I think, on one level, the expressed activities do demonstrate a relative freedom in this field.

but in Ra's descriptions of yellow ray, they continually reference the fact that it represents the individual in relation to masses of individuals, not just group events like socializing. This 'masses of individuals' is things like the governmental structure, law, social organizations like universities and businesses and the extended family.

"32.3 The yellow ray is a focal and very powerful ray and concerns the entity in relation to, shall we say, groups, societies, or large numbers of mind/body/spirit complexes."

so yellow ray is not just having friends and socializing on weekends : D

- -

I think, as Wanderers, even for those who do not have conscious knowledge of it, there is a felt sense of 'difference' from an early age, and this outsider syndrome, or a 'stranger in a strange land' lends itself quite easily to these yellow ray impediments.

it is like an estrangement from the wider society. And before it ever comes to the level of interaction and engagement and participation, the disaffection is present attitudinally. Ie, it is a mental attitude. Towards the society as a whole.

so to address this, one has to examine one's attitudes towards Society as a whole. Is this place the dead-end of the world? do we want to be here at all? do we regard the 'mass of humanity' as fellow equals, each following their life programming, or do we consider them as brainwashed idiots who deserve what they get?

I think it is these types of attitudes which are at the heart of any yellow ray issues one might have.

Maybe there are aspects of yellow ray which are intertwined into each other, like petals of one flower? So, if one petal gets damaged, others may be affected as well? What I was thinking of is my own experience of when I went through a traumatic experience of yellow ray situation that had to do with work, I then shut down other aspects which were functioning before. One of these other aspects was for instance friends, which I suddenly did not want to see anymore unless absolutely necessary after this traumatic work situation happened.

It is impossible to mention/write everything and think of all aspects in posts, so one detail perhaps in this recent situation, mentioned earlier, was actually about finding a security in "larger amount of mind/body/spirit complexes", or work situation, and if my yellow ray would be balanced or opened or functioning properly in groups, or larger numbers of mind/body/spirit complexes, I would be stepping into the green ray, but instead due to this earlier trauma, this yellow ray situation made me to feel "undeserved" of it, as this earlier trauma or catalyst is still not yet balanced. So, I reverted to orange ray, once again pondering self worth etc. But thank you for your post! This issue is of greatest interest to me right now. What happens now is that I see more and more situations of this reversion of which I was unaware! In short, this happens over and over and over again, and not just in the situation which I mentioned before, but almost all the time, and I didn't even know it!

As to being Wanderers and feeling "different" - is it a yellow ray or an orange ray issue? Because I bet that the most so called royalties feel different? Or those who are famous? Or perhaps talanted in some way? Is this issue a yellow ray in regards to *only* how their attitude is towards larger numbers of the mind/body/spirit complexes, or is this issue an orange ray as well in regards to the attitude towards its own personal power/view of the self? Maybe it could be a combined issue, wherein these rays are intertwined as well, or the blockage/function of these two rays has to do with each other? Ra did say that the rays between red and violet are not fixed, right? But either way, what I was thinking of is that maybe this is not that much of being a "stranger in a strange land" issue, but more of not developed orange and yellow rays issue? Or sometimes becoming blocked in these rays due to traumatic catalyst of Earth?

Well, there are a whole bunch of questions in this post, and not that many answers perhaps. Thank you for your post!

xise, my brother, thank you!