Mea Culpa

[Spaced]

Those q'uotes are very helpful spero, thank you!

I was meditating on this issue last night and I have made some peace with that self. One thing that helped was transforming my mental image of him from a samurai psychopath to a stereotypical old perverted japanese man from countless animes. Now when dark thoughts pop into my head from that source I find them kind of funny and easier to dismiss.

I opened my heart to his energy and what I felt actually surprised me, I felt the soul of a solemn man with the touch of the poet in him. I felt that he was a top notch swordsman and that he followed his own code of honour, one which kind of baffles my mind to be honest.

Afterwards I visualized vivid red blood seeping out of the wound on my abdomen and into the bowl made by my hands. The blood swirled and swirled as a golden light transformed it into vibrant yellow energy which I then returned to my solar plexus. This seemed to help the pain somewhat and I'm going to keep at it.

Thank you everyone for helping me come to grips with this!