The mysterious nature of time

[Cyan]

"mental illness"

Can you define this concept a bit

I think I understand what you mean, Cyan. I understand we are on very tricky area. I have had psychiatric treatment myself.

I have been very close to getting it(treatment), but my condition is so specific, that even the establishment has to admit that they are wrong about it (Depersonalization and Derealization). Its kind of like psychotic people live in sand castles, Schicsophrenic people try to escape from sand/cloud castles, people with DP-DR observe sand castles and laugh.

Its kind of in the spectrum of "dispersal of personality" type symptoms but because of the innate lack of fear due to the subdued fear response due to long term psychological abuse the psyche no longer runs away screaming when their hands fall of and the walls turn to laughing faces.

It is something that i have a theory is related to malfunctioning in the "trauma" center associated with PTSD symptoms in combination with a kind of schizophrenia / channeling state + buttloads of good karma end up with a very VERY weird situation where you get the symptoms but instead of them "tortuing" you they always remind you that you are only torturing yourself and show you how its done but the psyche in a way lacks the energy and the ability to "jump" to the new set taht would be stable. This is primarily because of the "beaten dog" response, where the persons psyche is so badly abused that it simply decides to "lie down" and not move again, and eventually the other parts of the psyche take over and the personality sinks into kind of a internal void while still observing.

So, DP-DR type people are usually able to do anything they want in the astral but not able to maintain any state in the astral while being still fully aware of their innate inability to hold onto their form.

Leading theory is that it is some kind of endomorphine malfunction system in the brain. Good luck trying to figure it out without spirituality.

When i watched my childhood friend get pushed into the system and I got pushed out I started to observe the changes that happen to him and I have come to the conclusion that I made the right choice in staying outside of the system and not getting "treatment".

Most of my life is spent around people on between 1-4 medications and 2-6 diagnosis. I have yet to see it help any of them other than to give them the confidence to give the entire medical establishment the middle finger. Sometimes this happens so that they give the middle finger to everyone (such as myself occasionally) but it is a side effect.

DP-DR is a feeling that creeps up on you. When you wake up you feel normal but after minutes, but usually under 30 minutes it feels like you slide back into a very comfortable sense of self loathing simply by thinking. It is like every thought where you think of ever explaining what you are doing or feeling is like a sharp spike that you hurl at your heart and eventually you rise above the pain and get to "normal".

Anyway, cant cure being a "butthole" to yourself.

Tl;Dr: *huggles* I know we all want help/to give help but its not in the medical establishment, I would LOVE for it to be there. I would love for us to have a really compassionate working medical system that is determined to help people. But not all 3d world can get this right.