The Dream Thread

[xise]

what does that mean to you symbolically? driving drunk?

I need to think about it more. It could represent a feeling of not being in control. I also think there is a strong possibility that it is a sort of test (the part about whether I wanted to come back into this life) and the details for the nde were extraneous for that purpose.

I say this because in the past I felt I've had dreams which felt more like someone seeing how much my newer sto mindset has sunken in by giving me dreams which would provoke anger or a fight response in me, and that though they are about sto/sts they seem less about learning and more about testing whats deeply held by me. A previous example would be the tennis ball dream I had (back like 6 months ago, I'm walking by a tennis court, they hit the ball out, they ask for it back, happily throw it back, then both of them start to make fun of me and keep hitting balls over and tell me to fetch and I get super angry - a learning experience, but it felt the primary reason the dream came was to show myself whats in my core - a dream to show me whats inside of me - a mirroring testing dream).

Just last night I had another one of these mirror test dreams. Before going to sleep I had a feeling of negative contact, which I just disregarded as my out of control mind (as always - I do love you mind despite your eccentricities, *kisses mind*). Or it could have been the active integration of my shadow self I've been visualizing last week. Don't know. But in any case, when I went to slept I dreamt there was basically an evil/sts entity that wanted to stay near me. I feel fear, and so I try to get rid of him without being angry or violent. I don't remember much about the dream, but I think my first attempts to lose him were just walking around and see if he kept following and he still did. I then felt greater fear, then I thought no its all good and just embrace him with love. Probably the first time I can remember where I'm actively applying Law of One/sto theory on negative contact interaction in a nonlucid dream. After I embraced him with love felt he dissipated. And then the dream ended.

My sleep last night was very restful, so overall it felt like a good experience!