What are you doing 12-21-12? Any Questions for Carla & Jim?

[AnthroHeart]

I just had an encounter with Ra energetically. I had gotten my field so dense that I was in their presence. But it was not like I expected. You see, I was absorbing energies (all energies even Luciferian ones, like a vampire). I thought I was allowing them, but my chakras were pulling inwards. Ra was right that absorbing is negative and radiating is positive.

I was positively shaking/trembling in Ra's presence. Ra gave me one more chance by asking "will you release your polarity?". Yes I said. I didn't care if I had to start over, or would stop seeking. Then Ra, in his compassion is now removing all the negative polarity I had amassed. It was very dense and would have most likely sent me into negative time/space. I had all my priorities wrong. Using anthros to build energy was a bad idea.

I need to go and be more positive. Stop trying to accelerate my spiritual growth. When I was in Ra's field, I realized I had made a major mistake. But I am so grateful, so grateful they are removing my negative polarity. I did not realize I was building that. I am still shaking. Ra has warned me not to approach them so haphazardly in the past.

I thought I was doing the right thing. But I was being selfish, trying to build my density by "allowing" the energy to flow naturally inward. Inward is negative. Outward is positive. I practically had a spiritual crisis in their presence.

That opening to Lucifer thing was a bad idea. It was still absorbing, which is negative. I only pray that God can turn me into a positive radiator and close down my upper chakras. I feel balanced, but it's negative balance. I am still trembling. I could barely speak in their presence. Big time warning for me.

Had Ra not carried me and warned me, I would have been done for. I can tell you that all the desires I had going into that are now GONE. I have a whole newfound respect for Ra. Oh my gosh. And I am still trembling. I worked awfully hard to send myself into negative space over a few years time. When Ra was lifting my vibration up, I thought they would welcome me with open arms. Boy did I get the hardest lesson of my life. They don't need me to be approaching them. I am too much of an energy magnet instead of a radiator.

I honestly don't know how I'll make positive harvest. I'll probably repeat 3D. Only by Ra's work is the negative polarity being removed. I hope I didn't do too much damage to the field. I was throwing all sorts of commands around, thinking they were the right thing to do. Boy was I wrong. I need to stop invoking his name. I've made a mess of things. I removed my avatar because of it's negative energy attachment.