Intelligence vs. wisdom

[Lorna]

i wonder sometimes if wanderers expectations of the emotional maturity of other entities can be too high. my gran sounds like a combination of both your mothers - judgemental, plays mind games, hugely emotionally controlling, she ties my mother up in knots to the point where my mum is right now, pretty close to having some kind of breakdown. my mum keeps trying to find a reason or a logic to her behaviour and the situations she creates - but there is no logic, no reason, no appreciation for the emotional wellbeing of others in her behaviour.

i see her very much as a child, i think perhaps she is a young soul with much still to learn. at the moment it would seem i am the only person who she likes and hasn't lashed out at, i feel such compassion for her alone-ness - she has pushed almost everyone in her life away and yet still she doesn't seem to have the skills to look at her behaviour in an objective way. she just doesn't understand this game of life she is playing.

i hope that my mum can emotionally disentagle herself from my gran and appreciate the gift that such an upbringing gave her - because her experiences no matter how hard were a gift and she has changed the world for the better because of those experiences.

but obviously the gift of such a difficult parental relationship is difficult to see when you are still feeling the pain of it. i hope you are able to fully realise the gift of your relationship with your mother one day questioner.