Seeking help - Negative entity taken residence in my field

[Monica]

What is love if not union? To me to love things means to be open to union, though not forcing of it. Maybe I'm just really dumb though.

Do you recall when Ra stated that they too decline the service of STS entities? The idea of merging with everything indiscriminately would negate the very idea of choice. And yet we know that choice is important. This entire density is about choice.

I think I'm eviler because people on this forum are judging me as eviler.

I didn't see anyone accusing you of being evil. Angry, yes, but that's not the same thing as evil.

I am more angry for instance and less concerned with love, rather now I think the love brigade of people are kind of going overboard, they are unbalanced.

Anger is a healthy emotion, momentarily. But once we express our anger, then what? Polarization occurs when we make a conscious choice to transform that anger, fear, or whatever, into love.

Not the fake, warm fuzzy 'love' but real love. It's easy to 'love' that which is all peaches and cream. Not so easy to love ourselves and others, while acknowledging the darkness therein.

I actually think I was more evil back then because I was puffed up with self-righteous spirituality. But I'm just entertaining the thought that maybe I'm more evil now.

Hmmm...well both of those attributes you just equated with evil - anger and self-righteousness - are just human emotions. They're not evil.

Evil is consciously choosing the STS path over the STO path...consciously choosing to serve self at the exclusion of other-selves, and maybe even being willing to harm others in order to do that. It's about absorbing light rather than radiating it.

It really has nothing to do with human faults and emotions, which we all have. It has more to do with our choices...what we choose to do with those emotions and weaknesses.

Also yeah this is the first Luciferian cult I've joined. Before this I would join really lovey dovey cults. Luciferians are harsher, they consider Light to be something that cleanses and burns at you. It burns away your delusion and evil, but still. Other groups are more focused on Love I guess, and how Love feels warm and fuzzy.

If I may offer a suggestion: It seems that maybe your anger is directed at fake displays of superficial love, the New Age mumbo-jumbo, the cold, uncompassionate "oh that must be your karma" and "well you must not be doing enough affirmations" etc., and I agree...I've had my share of those experiences too!

But, why throw the baby out with the bathwater? The STO path isn't defined by those fallible humans who claim to tread that path. What you seem to be equating with the STO path is just the display of human weaknesses, which will surely be found in any group, whether claiming to be STO or STS.

Could it be that the cult you're in right now is serving a purpose: to allow your free expression of anger? If so, then what happens next? Will the anger ever be healed, or will it just continue to fester and grow? Does that cult offer any solutions? or is it just feeding the anger?