Seeking help - Negative entity taken residence in my field

[Aaron]

Wow!!!! Thanks for all the replies and the genuine concern and love, people. That makes me feel very good! Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences and thoughts.

First off, I want to answer to what a lot of members said about smoking weed. And I should have included this in my original post for clarification. I haven't smoked for three months now. I still drink. Alcohol seems to be entirely disconnected from the situation and the sensations. It was the psychically opening property of cannabis that made me more vulnerable.

Even though I haven't taken a single puff in three solid months, the catalyst has still been here, and still been affecting me. When I first stopped, I expected the catalyst to go away with it, but when it didn't I understood that cannabis wasn't the cause, but it definitely wasn't helping the situation.

Spaced, I tried TheEternal's suggestion, and realized that when I moved into a state of thankfulness and genuinely asked the entity to take its energy back, it HAD to because I was no longer claiming its energy as my own in that moment. It didn't cut the tie, but it definitely had an effect on my situation.

I haven't tried your personal suggestion yet only because I haven't had time to meditate.

In response to yossarian, Aureus, and others saying that it's a part of me - yes I originally thought of it in that way. And I also understand that the situation could be multi-layered... that there could be a thought form that I've created being occasionally energized by a negative entity. Or it could be a thought form of my own that is opening me up to psychic greeting.

But I left out some other details which didn't seem significant because I shared the fact that now I believe it to be a 4th density Orion grey. I'll share those now.

When I first began to really be affected by this catalyst, I asked my guides and guardians "What's going on? Can you explain to me in as simple of language as possible what is happening?" (another positive result of this catalyst is that it caused me to speak to my guides and guardians in a serious manner for the first time) I don't remember their exact verbatim answer, but I do remember that they said it was a 5th density entity that was affecting me, but not in the way that I think.

Of course the way that I would have immediately assumed would be by direct greeting. I now know that the channeling contact was 5th density, and either it "assigned" a 4th density entity to me, or created a thought form to interact with me. I'm leaning more towards the thought form idea. However, I'm still confused as to whether it's a thought form or an actual 4th density entity as I said above, due to the following...

When I had that orange ray realization, and stopped allowing myself to be abused, I began to be greeted in dreams, as I said. Sometimes when trying to sleep or when waking up - when I was in those in-between states of consciousness, I would see an owl in my mind's eye. Greys, for whatever reason, almost always are perceived by humans as owls. Sometimes I would be doing something else such as playing a video game, and I would feel this entity's familiar presence suddenly and see a flash of an angry owl in my mind. Of course then the bodily sensations began or would become more intense.

But what takes the cake is the actual content of the dreams. In one dream, I got out of bed and wandered the dark house looking for a light switch. Then, my friend who I actually know in real life came into the front door, and I said "Oh you're here! Are you ready to go?" (I have no idea what I was talking about.) But anyway the important thing here is that this person, as I know him in real life, is most definitely a wanderer from a grey social memory complex. In real life however, he's not evil... and I think the entity just took the form to scare me. Anyway, he chuckled in a very sinister way and I fainted, only to experience painful electric shocks to my brain and then waking up again in bed for real. I had already gone through that cycle once, within that same dream, of searching for the light switch and then fainting and being shocked and "waking up" in bed. It was the second time that this entity was so proud of the experience it was giving me that he couldn't help but to show himself and mess with me a little bit more.

Then came the dream that made me sure it was the entity I describe above. I was lying in bed with my mate, thinking I had just woken up, but I was really still asleep. I snuggled up to her, but something felt really WRONG. I started receiving very unsettling energy and fear from her, and her face melted and distorted in a very disturbing way, as the entity which was disguising itself as her morphed into its true current form, appearing exactly as the picture below, down to the last detail (except clothes):

The other difference was that its eyes were not all black, but contained very large, deep blue (beautiful) irises, with white sclera. It was a very intelligent entity, and it laughed at me before I jolted awake in the next moment (I was hugging it! ). Every time after these dreams when I woke, I could still feel the entity around me.

Also, any time I think back on any of these experiences, or remember its "voice", I feel that uncomfortable static on the left side of my head again, almost like revisiting the vibration of those thoughts strengthens the link.

Before I had the orange ray revelation, I called to Latwii for help and asked them whether or not it would be a wise choice to attempt to discover the details of this entity, or to just go through the proper motions of dealing with the catalyst, without concerning myself of the details. They said that I should make the choice which I feel would be the most helpful for me to come to terms with the catalyst. If I felt like figuring out the details would help me more fully be able to love this entity, then I should. And I did feel that way, so I guess that's what attracted the above experiences which allowed me to discover the details of the entity.

Cyan, thank you for sharing all of your thoughts! I found the majority of them to be very helpful. It definitely does seem to react in the emotional way you describe, and I'm thinking the part which reacts like that may be the part of me which is attached to the above entity. And thank you for the virtual hug.

What you said here:

The evil spirit that I channeled but later learned was just a expression of my self love to myself and it taught me some hard lessons and went away on its own and we both still have love for each other in our hearts. I wont summon him again until i'm ready to talk with him though.

Really resonates, and I have attempted to view the situation like this, from the viewpoint of the Law of One and the rhythms of catalyst. I feel like I have, for the most part, been successful in grasping what my higher self has been trying to show me with this experience.

Thank you so much for your recommendation about artistic expression! I almost never artistically create anything, but I feel an interest in allowing this portion of myself to express itself in that way, if for no other reason than allowing it to communicate with me.

Who says you needed to, and not that you wanted to?

From the higher perspective, I wanted to. From the incarnate perspective, I needed to.

By the way, yes I would love for you to send me that picture again! I'll be able to save it in a couple of days when I have access to my own computer again.

Plenum, I've only experienced fear during the dream experiences. In waking consciousness, I sometimes just get frustrated.

Xise, thanks for your suggestions my brother. The advice about yellow ray and posture was very, very helpful! I'll work on strengthening my yellow ray, now that I feel like I've begun to move the catalyst out of the orange ray.

TheEternal, thank you for your kind advice as well. I love how you always attempt to penetrate to the heart of the issue, and attempt to blend your wisdom with love. In regards to how the catalyst relates to my orange ray, I have indeed recently discovered that I am somehwat afraid of my light, my creative power, and the power contained within that ray. I also see the attitude which I have held towards the situation, allowing myself to be a scapegoat as you put it.

Icaro, thanks for those quotes! I did read and ponder those after I was pointed towards card number 9 by my guides. Although I don't feel like I netted any deep understanding of that archetype.

Lynn, thank you for your post. Thank you for highlighting the victim mentality, and for pointing out the exploring of self by creating a thought form. You were the first person to help me with this issue, and although I wasn't ready at that time to integrate the thought form, it did point me in the direction I needed to go. Thank you.

Monica, thank you for your well thought out post, and for your prayers! I did address any personal shame/guilt for my choices that may have been hanging on some time ago. But it's an appropriate suggestion. Thank you!

I think that the energy I've received from everyone who read/posted has helped me move this catalyst to a new level. I only want to hire a shaman or seek healing help if I can't seem to solve this by myself. Now that I've sought public input, if I'm still unable to make any progress utilizing this input, then I'll seek further help. But you've all given me so much that I can work with!

And utilizing the new input I have gained here, I DO seem to have made another breakthrough with this situation! Last night I had a dream in which I was viewing a fish tank that I had created. I felt a deep connection to the fish inside, and their environment, and I felt responsibility towards them. I've had a dream like this before, and I've come to understand that the fishtank is my life, it's me. I make the choices of what fish or other creatures/parts of myself that I want to express, display, and care for. As I grow and change, parts of myself die, parts of myself grow, and parts of myself change as I add new fish and new decorations to the ecosystem that is me. During these dreams, my higher self is always there with me as a presence in the room that watches me and my creation with so much love.

Anyway, I remember seeing this fishtank and being so happy that I had added new fish (awareness of portions of my beingness) and new decorations (healthy thought structures within the self) that the fish were just absolutely loving. The fish were very beautiful, and these new plants and decorations were helping them to grow. Then I saw a yellowish green worm-like creature on the bottom. I remember that I was a little disturbed by it and concerned that it had found its way into my tank. It was connected through the gravel at the bottom of the tank by a firm root, and it was eating away at the plants and beneficial decorations!

It needed to survive on these - it had no other choice. But it was putting the fish in danger. During this dream, I went to another place to speak with my brother, and work with him on some time/space duties. Then, I was suddenly called back to the fishtank room. The worm had choked on a big round stone and was dying! However, it was no longer a worm. It was outside the tank, lying on the ground in a puddle of slime and its own bodily extrusions. It was a 3 foot tall grey, with a fat body clothed in robes, a very long, very skinny neck, and a tiny oval shaped head.

It didn't look anything like the grey I described above. I rushed over to it because I was so worried, more concerned about it than anything that was in the tank at that point! It barely had any life in it. I realized in that moment how much I LOVE this unique and cherished portion of myself. My mate was there with me in some form of consciousness, and she stood beside me as I panicked over this creature's death. I began wiping off the slime that was around its face and neck, and considering if there was anything I could do to dislodge that ball that was in its throat. I came to terms with the fact that it was already passing away, and that there was nothing I could do.

When I woke up, I asked my higher self if it could help me to release this entity that I had been abusing and blaming and carrying around for so long. I told it that I was ready to let it go, and I saw how irresponsible I have been acting in blaming Orion for my own shadow. I felt my energy body become mostly cleared from head to toe, and asked my guides to help shield me once everything was removed.

Today, I've still been feeling the same uncomfortable energy sensations from time to time. There is still something there. If anyone who is adept at scanning energy from a distance would like to take a peek and see what may have changed, I would more than welcome that service!

Thanks again for all the support. I will answer to the PMs some of you have sent me once I have more time, but I've already spent way too much time writing this post, and I need to get back and help out with the New Year's Eve dinner! I'll keep updating this thread with my progress.