greatest challange. and appologies

[Avocado]

Well I did the meditation and had a wonderful time. I sat down half-lotus and threw all my meditation dogma out the window. I just felt the energy in my legs and in the earth beneath my house and eventually brought it into my red-ray. I felt a krishna/buddhic eastern avatar vibe and was delighted that I was able to let go and just feel despite the claustrophobia of the body, despite the drop in the pit of my stomach, despite the dense/anxious heart beat.

After I felt really hungry and I went to the store to get fuel for my body and made the most delicious/healthy kale slop I darn near ever had! I felt confident in public due to the meditation. I think I had a first yerba mate aided spiritual experience. C: It allowed me to concentrate on my energy body and let go of the density and fatigue of my physical body. This is good news because I will repeat this only with the powerful cacao deva spirit later this week!

Thanks again for the meditation Aureus. I will be investigating crystals as things progress... I actually had a dream I was standing on a pile of translucent red rocks last night!

How could I have been ignoring catalyst like this for so long? I can process emotions much faster and with less trauma from within instead of just barging into a job all foolhardy like. I just didn't want to accept that I am already capable of doing this now, today.