(02-08-2013, 12:04 PM)plenum Wrote: well, what more can one say?
the catalyst seems uber-intense right now, and cracks are appearing in consciousness.
I have heard the most amazing stories in chat in the past 6 weeks; and I am reminded of this thread here:
Relationship between one's greatest fear and spiritual progression
can we hide from our deepest fears any longer? or are they being laid bare by this new 4th density light; that doesn't have the capacity to strip the 3d mental veil, but can strip away the pleasant lies and obfuscations that we tell ourselves so often.
what are those deepest fears?
what are those deepest traumas?
go back in time, back to childhood, back to teenage years, what has been left undealt with?
these are the catalysts that are presenting themselves now.
yup, that definitely seems to be what's happening to me.
One particular childhood memory that has returned to me with surprising clarity is being 4 years old at a family reunion. It was winter time and my cousins wanted to play hockey on the frozen bay, so my dad asked me to step out onto the ice and test it. When I didn't fall through the ice at first he told to jump up and down, telling me to jump harder and harder until I finally broke through the ice. He thought this was hilarious and started laughing, but there was me, 4 years old, chest high in freezing water wondering why my dad wont stop laughing to pull me out of the water. Next thing I remember is being in the house wrapped up in blankets watching all my cousins out there skating around on the ice.
The next day we had a talent show and I was going to tell some jokes, but when I got up on stage I was so nervous that I started to cry. Everyone thought it was cute and, once again started to laugh but I of course thought they were laughing AT me because I messed up.
Doesn't seem like that big a deal to me now, but I can see how that one trip has shaped my personality. My mom says I came back from that trip a different kid. From that point on I became the super-quiet shy kid.