homesickness and pain

[Ruth]

Ankh - It would be helpful, for the purpose of discussion in this particular thread, if you could read the entire article. Just as a point of reference. If you are not able to link to it let me know and I will copy it and paste it into a PM for you. The author is discussing the differences between those with Crystal energy vs Indigo energy. Her words resonated with me very strongly!

And I didn't think you were saying anything about me, specifically. You have no need to apologize for anything at all dear one.

And dearest brother norral, I have seen how you respond to the pain and disconnectedness you witness in our society. I don't respond in the same way that you do. I don't get angry. Rather I try to send so much love and light into the situation that I can become depleted and then depressed, overwhelmed, ineffective, and sad. And my own personal energy becomes diffused, distorted and depleted.

From this article:

"Being energetically sensitive can create a false sense of fear as they don’t often know how to separate their energy from that which they feel is around them. Being natural healers compels them to rush in and heal energy, rather than stepping back and applying healing energy at a higher level that they are more comfortable with."

In one sense, the safe energetic space for me is quite real. A real space, here in my home, or on my own property. I can go days without leaving the house, or without leaving my own yard (when the weather allows me to be outside), quite happily so. And I started to say that it isn't out of fear, but I realize that in a way it is a sort of fear that keeps me home. Fear that I will not be able to keep my energy separate from what I feel from others I encounter along the way.

When I was working full time, I believed I was able to separate my energy from those around me.  And I think I was, in fact, successful in doing this to some degree.  But I have also come to realize that I needed to have a deeper understanding of how to ". . . balance my empathy with detachment . . ." how to set ". . . strong energetic boundaries. . ." and to use my ". . . .healing abilities from a point of empowerment . . ."

I've had this luxury of being able to stay home for long stretches of time off and on over the past five years year. Having this time all alone has given me the opportunity to really explore my energy and how to use it more effectively without losing myself. I've had more time to really find my own "center" my core, my NOW (as you mentioned). And I have learned how better to work from that point inside myself.

And lately I've realized that it has become time for me to get back out there, so to speak. So really, it is as much a timing thing for me as it is a way to "stay safe." The truth is that we are always safe. And it has been ok for me to take a bit of a learning vacation from my mission. But it is time - for me at least - to get back to work in earnest.

I hope that answers your question. Remember that you are on your own path. Anything I say is based on my own experience and current understanding of my experience. If it can help you, then you are welcome to it. If it does not resonate with you, then please, just let it fall away.

Much love to you both, and to anyone who might read this.