Acceptance and balancing

[Ankh]

Often when i meditate i try and make use of the balancing exercises given in the Law of One. The example Ra gave was patience/impatience.

When the feeling of impatience comes up in meditation (mostly as i near the end of the session) i try to focus/meditate on that emotion/feeling so i can apply the balancing exercise, however as soon as i focus on any emotion/thought in meditation it brings it to an end, almost like a note being played on a piano and let go. So i don't really get the chance to apply the exercise i feel.

Has this ever happen to anybody else in meditation? Or was the exercise applied in a more subconscious way due to the end of the feeling of impatience?

Thanks.

My experience has been that it happens because of well... impatience.

I tried to jump into the accepting part too soon. What needs to be done first is to map both patience and impatience within your mind. Ra says when you see the impatience, you need to consciously seek the patience within your mind. Here is this exercise again:

The prerequisite of mental work is the ability to retain silence of self at a steady state when required by the self. The mind must be opened like a door. The key is silence.

Within the door lies an hierarchical construction you may liken unto geography and in some ways geometry, for the hierarchy is quite regular, bearing inner relationships.

To begin to master the concept of mental discipline it is necessary to examine the self. The polarity of your dimension must be internalized. Where you find patience within your mind you must consciously find the corresponding impatience and vice versa. Each thought that a being has, has in its turn an antithesis. The disciplines of the mind involve, first of all, identifying both those things of which you approve and those things of which you disapprove within yourself, and then balancing each and every positive and negative charge with its equal. The mind contains all things. Therefore, you must discover this completeness within yourself.

The second mental discipline is acceptance of the completeness within your consciousness. It is not for a being of polarity in the physical consciousness to pick and choose among attributes, thus building the roles that cause blockages and confusions in the already-distorted mind complex. Each acceptance smoothes part of the many distortions that the faculty you call judgment engenders.

So, first you need to practice silence. This silence will open the door to your mind. Secondly, when you find one thing within the mind, you need to consciously seek the opposite. And only after knowing these two opposites within your mind, you go into the acceptance part.

When I have been trying to rush through these exercises, like in: Sshhh! Silence! Where is impatience? There. Where is patience? Here. Ok! Great. Let's accept those things - it didn't work for me.

No wonder that Ra gave patience/impatience as an example here. It really is the name for this whole exercise.