Acceptance and balancing

[neutral333]

I guess what I'm getting at with the idea of "controlling circumstances" is that for my entire life, I feel like I am pretty much just floating around aimlessly adrift at sea. Don't get me wrong, I have had many adventures along the way and have made many self-discoveries. But, having no map or course for the future becomes a concern once marriage and finances become major responsibilities/duties. Seems like "controlling circumstances" is a must when carrying out ones duty...

There's lots to work with there. Feeling adrift. The need to be responsible. Orange ray (personal self-discovery) vs yellow ray (marriage, finance, duty).

I understand the balancing exercises to have to do with attitudes and emotions. How does the perceived need to control circumstances make you feel? What's your attitude towards responsibility? Etc.

Honestly, responsibility feels great when the cards fall into place and I can fulfill my responsibilities with ease. But, I dread the idea of too much responsibility. As a Sagittarius I need to feel free. Responsibility means dedicating my energy to repetitive tasks. I see responsibility as a tether.