Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies

[Pablísimo]

Here is a tragic yet inspiring story

That article really got to me. The emotional anguish and physical pain that girl went through really moved me and I could not read it in a single sitting. As "evolved" as I try to be, I think I would have a hard time with that catalyst and her suffering really touched me.

It does make me wonder, though, if on a soul level it is actually something very good for her. I mean, I don't really know this person but I got the impression from the article that she was a bit shallow about physical appearances and was was very focused on physical beauty, especially if her first coherent response was "Kill me." Perhaps this catalyst has ended her TV career but it no doubt caused her to do a fair amount of soul searching and forced her to grow as a person and try to figure out just what is really important. The story ended on an inspiring note and she has clearly healed a great deal. Given the coming harvest, she may be able to make far more progress now polarizing positively. Perhaps she was on a shallow path and her higher Self activated a soul contract, sort of how Roosevelt's infirmity described. That thought was the only one that settled my troubled heart after reading that article. Thank you for sharing -- it was perfectly timed in this discussion.

Yes. I think it's very likely a highly personal thing, but here is my speculation. Pornography in itself creates the desire for more pornography, since after a while what you previously thought was hot will become less satisfying. So you get more, and more... and more. And due to the infinite nature of the internet from the perspective of one person, you'll just continue finding harder and harder material- more divorced from reality as you go in the hunt for that new and shocking scenario or image. I think that it becomes increasingly difficult to maintain a mental balance when this happens. Intellectually you know that women are not like that in real life, but it doesn't stop you from seeing through that filter in an unconscious way. So you begin to get this distorted view of reality, be it the objectification of people or the loveless nature of what you think sexual relations is. For someone with a significant other, this will probably become an alienating problem after a while, even if it starts only subtly. I've read about men who find themselves no longer satisfied with their partners because they aren't having the type of sex they see on the screen. Or even scenarios where they have to watch porn while having sex in order to enjoy themselves. Of course this would be confusing and emotionally harmful for everyone involved. For the single man, I suppose it could lead to a hollow feeling inside since real satisfaction is never achieved. Very likely a form of depression would grow, and of course they would be seeking out real companionship less. When they did find a partner there might be all sorts of awkwardness happening since the reality of the situation turns out to be much different than he had seen on TV thousands of times before. These are speculations of course, I think it could probably manifest in any number of other ways. And I also speak to extremes- there are many gray areas in between the non-addicted and the addicted to the point of utter obsession.

Lavazza, I found your post to be particularly insightful about this problem and more than anything else I've yet read in this thread clarified the STS aspects of this problem. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!

Monica asked a question a while back...

We've ascertained that men tend to be aroused by visual stimuli more easily than women. But we haven't addressed why they would find 'shocking' images appealing. Anyone want to take on this question?

That made me think back on Biu's comments on the simulated rape porn. What you described is a sort of steady, gradual descent into harder and harder material as you get more divorced from reality. I wonder if this is the answer to her question? I have to admit that while I can see why people like porn to a degree, I can't imagine finding simulated rape even remotely stimulating no matter how hot the girl was. Maybe it's not the kind of thing that happens over night, maybe the descent is so gradual and so subtle that you just wake up one day and find that suddenly a barnyard gangbag is stimulating. Unfortunately I don't have much I can really say on the topic, but your post sparked that thought in me and I thought I would share it.

I did find a few links while looking for more info on the topic. Here are two non-religious treatment programs. One is $47 a month for 6 months and the other is $19.95 for an ebook:

http://www.candeocan.com/
http://endpornaddiction.com/

I can't vouch for them but I did find some good reviews.

I also found something else that might be of a wider interest. Apparently there is a debate series that tours major colleges in the US. On one side you have two famous porn stars (Ron Jeremy is always one) and on the other the guy who runs a Christian xxxchurch outreach program for porn addicts and a former porn producer turned evangelical Christian.

Here's a flyer:
http://www.wolfmanproductions.com/porn.html

While the debate standards are not quite as high as I would have hoped, I found a copy on Youtube in 10 parts that was quite interesting because it discusses a lot of the themes we have been talking about here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3dDXppgUpI

I found part 4 to be the most moving. It discuss how some of the women involved suffer long after their brief stint in porn:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVgEMmRTSJA

Anyway, just more food for thought.

Love to all

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Well, I am back to being celibate. Wait... I have been celibate for nearly eight months. Ok, I'm back to being celibate without masturbation. Why? I have devoted myself to the the will of the One Creator.I desire to serve the One Creator's will, not that of my own, and have dedicated myself to being an instrument of its will. Thus I am allowing my ego's wants and desires to be removed. Although (I have noticed) this ape mind does indeed desire sexual release, I desire to move more into the indigo ray, and am thus saving my energies for that. I have always understood it is mind over matter, mind over the body, and this is another step. I've cut out coffee now too; the catalyst comes harder and faster, and I am coming to new understandings at a steady pace. I am now a vice-less man, the first time in this incarnate experience since I was a child.

Wow, Peregrinus, that is quite a step. Celibacy never felt right to me at all, and indeed was one of the biggest problems I had with Hinduism. I tried suppressing my sexual desires for a while, but it actually harmed my spiritual capacity because it caused my mind to dwell on baser things and was ultimately a distraction. I was very happy to find a sacred and harmonious exploration of sexuality in the Law of One. For me, sexuality is now part of my spiritual path and sharing sexual love and other intimacy with my partner has helped expand my heart to a great degree.

That said, my path is only right for me and you must walk the path that is right for you. I lovingly respect and honor your choices.

Hinduism affected me DEEPLY and I struggled for years to understand how celibacy could be helpful and I just never figured it out. I actually wished that more discussion of Don Elkin's rationale for celibacy had gone into Book V because I couldn't quite grasp what his thinking was from the bits and pieces where it was discussed. I never quite reconciled the idea of a celibate man receiving such involved teaching on sexual energy transfers, having a loving partner at the time, and that choice not being affected.

Would you mind sharing with me your reasons why celibacy is a helpful path for you and how exactly it helps with Indigo ray work? I am not judging you or condemning that decision, I just really want to understand it. It might finally answer some questions I had forgotten I had. If you are not comfortable sharing your reasons, I accept that, of course.

Another related thought is do you have a plan for overcoming "Horny Monk Syndrome"?

Love to all