What I don't look forward to in the afterlife.

[zenmaster]

I am afraid of having to dissolve what I desire now, my constructed purposes for entirely new ones.

Desires are transient. The idea is to pursue them to inevitable transcendence while increasing consciousness. Maintaining a desire without ever acknowledging and actually exploring it, is ignoring catalyst and stifles learning. The greater indignity is wasting the provided opportunity, which everyone is free to do.