Welcome to the forum. Your life story is inspiring 
Service to Others and Service to Self are the two options that 3d incarnates have to polarize to in order to graduate in the impending harvest (one or the other, that is). All (I think?) of us on the forum are polarizing to STO, which is based in love and acceptance of all. STS is based in fear, desire to control/manipulate people, and love of only the self.
Edit: Looks like Peregrinus beat me to it!

Service to Others and Service to Self are the two options that 3d incarnates have to polarize to in order to graduate in the impending harvest (one or the other, that is). All (I think?) of us on the forum are polarizing to STO, which is based in love and acceptance of all. STS is based in fear, desire to control/manipulate people, and love of only the self.
Edit: Looks like Peregrinus beat me to it!