Reverting to the orange ray

[Ankh]

Notice how Ankh felt a "relief" after the thought of "worthiness upon power" was bestowed? Then, shortly afterwards, feeling overwhelmed/unworthy by the responsibility, his mind kept throwing different thoughts at him and thus resorting back to orange.

I didn't understand this one. I felt a relief because I went some years now without having a secure job situation. It was on red, orange and yellow ray levels. Blockages, blockages, blockages... And then suddenly there came this security. But then I was overwhelmed by an intense catalyst of not "deserving this", not because of the responsibility which came with this work. If anything than there is less "responsibility" now than before (although I feel more honored).

I am a "she" by the way.

Ankh, I feel for you my friend! I'm wondering, though -- it seems like you expect the reversion into orange ray to be the permanent state rather than the light and joy. Couldn't the heaviness and unworthiness be just as fleeting, and might you not ultimately balance them, too?

Of course, dear one! Although sometimes I dwell in darkness like it is permanent and there is no tomorrow.

In regards to the orange Ra, i think almost have the self acceptance aspect down but i am still in the process of finding a balance between self acceptance the need to change some of my personal negative aspects in order to better serve others than my self.

This reminded me of Ra's:

"The seeker seeks the One. This One is to be sought, as we have said, by the balanced and self-accepting self, *aware both of its apparent distortions and its total perfection*. Resting in this balanced awareness, the entity then opens the self to the universe which it is. The light energy of all things may then be attracted by this intense seeking, and wherever the inner seeking meets the attracted cosmic prana, realization of the One takes place."

Do you like your work ?

Hello dear one, and welcome back!

Whether I like my work or not depends on if my green ray energy center is open or not. My work is rich in catalyst and may provide intense opportunities for quick(er) polarization. I've also been through pretty magical stuff when being at work. Anyways, when the green ray is radiating, there is no better place to manifest it. For instance I can physically touch other selves, provide direct comfort and manifest compassion. But when my green ray is blocked, then I am more of a-"you people make my eyes twitch"-person, and would rather fester than serve/be around other people.

Why did you ask this? What were you thinking of?