Reverting to the orange ray

[Ankh]

Ankh, I don't think this is anywhere nearly as bad as you are making it out to be.

Of course not! But is anything as bad as we, in this density, think it is?

I think that this is the whole purpose of this illusion, to teach us something which *is* important, i.e. the lessons of this density. (I was not able to balance this emotion with its proper counterpart due to the lack of time and/or energy, because I've been working too much. So, I either lacked the time to do the balancing work, or I was simply too tired and was in a bad need of sleep instead. But I was able to balance this whole experience on another level by realizing deep within of it being a very profound teaching experience of humility and *compassion* towards my self *and* another self. After this experience I was more patient, and compassionate/understanding towards myself, which led to me being able to manifest more green ray towards my patients than ever before. And I experienced magic! Also, I became more stubborn in my desire of manifesting this green ray, and striving towards it. I wouldn't want to be without this experience, if that makes any sense. )

I recently went through something close to this with getting a new job which paid better, has better benefits, and is an all around better company and workplace.

Congratulations, dear one!

...that no chakra is any more important than another.

Yeah, I know - logically. Beloved Ra said the same too. But... emotionally, I just feel that the green ray is number one for me, and those three lower rays are my "springboard" towards the green, not the green one being the springboard. But I know, I know. And you're right. :-/

The overriding lesson I always come back to is just not being so hard on myself when I stumble a bit. We are all learning and steadily improving and I think most (if not all) of this community is doing a good job of polarizing positively. We are not immune to intense catalyst, however, and we all have our rainy days.

Such a great insight!

Ankh, I just want to share my piece and say that as a nurse, you are about as STO as you can be in our current culture. Even on those days when you grit your teeth, you are still functioning on a high level of love through those difficult moments. My stepmom just quit her job as a nurse, and the daily horror stories she would have make me feel intense compassion for those who do that job. In fact, in my menial little job I take great pride in the fact that I get to pass off some passive love/light radiation to the myriad of nurses I get to serve each day.

In fact, just recently I had a customer attempt to recruit me to be a nurse, on account of my demeanor. Unfortunately the human body makes me squeamish as all get-out so that line of work is out for me, which just makes me respect nurses even that much more intensely.

Remember you are The Creator - you created this job and this promotion for yourself. Unworthiness is hardly a factor. The joy in the achievement was the truer emotion, I believe. There is great service to do and you have given yourself this opportunity. I hope you can soon accept and embrace it and learn how to use it to bring betterment to yourself and those around you.

Thank you for your kind words, beautiful soul!

What do you work with? And are you not feeling well, or is it something wrong with your body? You don't have to tell if you don't want to though, dear soul!

I was just wondering, now that you have job security, if maybe you then felt obligated (on a subconscious level) to stay in this work environment. Then feeling elated from one perspective and caged in from another perspective.

No, not all! On contrary, I feel such a relief to have a (more) secure work situation now! I feel seriously elated/light on all levels, except those feelings of unworthiness of getting this employment. :-/

Because personally I refused a lot of opportunities of job security so that I could remain somewhat free in choosing the work environment that stimulates me the most.

To be honest I refused these opportunities too for these last 3 or so years. But it wasn't because I wanted to be "free" or something (although it is exactly what I told others), but because I felt unworthy of being hired on permanent basis by anyone. I felt so unworthy that I was thinking that it's better that they don't hire me on permanent basis so that they can fire me at any time! :-/

You probably have another situation, but this is mine.

Lots of love to you too, my brother! I am glad that you are back. /