Generally dis-satisfied with this illusion.

[GentleReckoning]

Ok, you want to be a student, but one who doesn't learn or "use experience" as Ra says? Sounds like you are confused.

I've been confused my whole life.

*edit* I've met NO single person that has been able to lead me further on my path. Instead I've almost become addicted to meeting new people as I get to find out more about myself with each new interaction. At the same time, I'm terrified of being friendless and alone. This leads me to attach to every new person that I meet. At the same time, having found the LOO, it's difficult to accept that any 'traditional' path for growth is better than simply experiencing, meditating, and accepting.