Dear Agony Aunt.... from a broke Wanderer

[Plenum]

Should I go back and do what I thought was the correct path – helping and teaching others (service-to-others), or should I just continue what I am doing now – helping myself more than others (service-to-self)?

The former has led me to near bankruptcy and I can tell you that it is no fun being poor. If I go with the latter, it’s unlikely that I will meet the 51% STO mark for graduation.

Hi Wai,

I think service has different meanings for different people. I guess on one level, the notion of service can be quite literal - in that there is some real-life interaction where one is of assistance to the other self. Taking the time to answer your Agony Aunt question, for example, could be considered an 'act of service' if done with the intention to assist and be of help.

I think our culture and society has left has with role models or examples of what 'service' is about. Some of these are quite extreme, and not really available to the average person.

for eg, we have stories of the buddha relinquishing everything except a begging bowl, and being at the mercy of what others would feed him. And we have stories of Jesus saying - sell all your possessions, give that money to the poor, and follow the 'way'.

however, in practical terms, I don't think anyone really wants to have no money and end up living and begging on the streets. That's a fairly precarious existence, and really limits any possible expression of self to quite narrow parameters.

and likewise, I think its possible to have a fulltime job or business, and still not see it as being entirely self-serving; again, its the parameters of our society, and earning an income is really a responsible act for an adult; to be able to pay one's own way, and not rely on parents or friends to supply that income. Plus, whatever job or business one has, it provides an implicit service for someone else; and even though you might be working for a Fortune 500 company, they are still selling goods/services that others are willingly paying for; so ultimately, if there is a money transaction, there is a service rendered.

I think one can get caught up in the idea of 'good deeds' being the ultimate sign of service.

if the positive intention is there, the opportunities to be of service will reveal themself.

I can give you an example from my own life, from these very forums in fact. About 7-8 months ago, or whenever it was, I had a chat with one of the Admins in the chatroom. They asked me if I would be willing to become the mod (moderator) of the chatroom. It came out of the blue, but I was glad to fulfill that role. It seemed like a cool position, and I liked hanging out there, and hearing about people's experiences and life stories. So an opporunity for service just appeared.

And then, about a month ago, another request came out of the blue, this time asking if I'd like to become a mod on the forums. Again, it was not an opportunity that I was looking for, and yet there it arrived. But most definitely a way to be of service, and to use my time and small understandings in service of an organisation that has some great ideals in my view.

and I think it's really great that you've managed to involve yourself with some charitable organisations in a deep way.

but I think, in the end, one has to be able to live a life where self-sufficiency is a given (and taking care of one's family, one's bills, and one's mortgage), before you can really be of true service to others. Otherwise, there will always be worries on the mind, and doubts about one's next meal etc.

I also know that in asian societies (and I know you are from SE Asia), that money is seen as a sign of 'personal success'; even more so than it is in the West; and that having money (and lots of it) is usually the result of determined efforts to acquire it; and is usually the quality of self-service.

but you seem to have a lot of expertise; enough to offer a business centered around consulting. And that can be a service in itself; even though it might be helping other rich people to get richer

Plenum