01-23-2014, 12:21 AM
Forgiveness/healing is a process I think.
We can analyze each event where we were unloving and contemplate on forgiveness. Negative reactions to being unloving and being irresponsible can weigh us down and keep up stuck... When you get into that critical-to-self mode, everything will look bleak (it's unfortunately how our brains are wired). Any kind of development or process like healing or forgiveness, tho, spans longer periods in one's lifetime and it encompasses many events. We can see how we've grown or healed or changed over a long period of time. We might recognize the changes, where we've become more and more loving as we go thru our developing process.
BTW If you talk to yourself by pointing out 1 negative thing about yourself or about others, you basically need about 10 positives to balance that out (this is based on psychological research). It's just so much work! This is why 'what I did wrong' or 'what's wrong with me' type deal isn't conducive to efficient and effective changes. Get stuck in the details and miss the broader progression/development... Not to say always be positive, bc that is an imbalance... but learning to give constructive feedback and will to keep working at it might be helpful to healing process.
We can analyze each event where we were unloving and contemplate on forgiveness. Negative reactions to being unloving and being irresponsible can weigh us down and keep up stuck... When you get into that critical-to-self mode, everything will look bleak (it's unfortunately how our brains are wired). Any kind of development or process like healing or forgiveness, tho, spans longer periods in one's lifetime and it encompasses many events. We can see how we've grown or healed or changed over a long period of time. We might recognize the changes, where we've become more and more loving as we go thru our developing process.
BTW If you talk to yourself by pointing out 1 negative thing about yourself or about others, you basically need about 10 positives to balance that out (this is based on psychological research). It's just so much work! This is why 'what I did wrong' or 'what's wrong with me' type deal isn't conducive to efficient and effective changes. Get stuck in the details and miss the broader progression/development... Not to say always be positive, bc that is an imbalance... but learning to give constructive feedback and will to keep working at it might be helpful to healing process.
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