(01-26-2014, 11:11 PM)Folk-love Wrote: This is absolutely true for me. It really does take a lot of strength to change this, especially when you've been playing the victim for many years. It really requires getting out of your comfort. I'm just struggling with what to do with my time. I don't want to spend any of it pursuing things which make me depressed. This is why I dropped out of uni and can't find a job worth holding on to.
It's odd isn't it? It's a defense/coping mechanism. To use the concepts discussed in the material, there really are elements of stepping into the unknown in terms of opening yourself up to the state of beingness. The mind is in an absorptive state, in that it's dependent on others to give in order to feel happiness. It resists stepping away from that absorptive nature, because it's completely the opposite of how we view and interpret experience, and how the mind thinks the nature of reality works. So breaking free from that is a release that does take strength and a type of faith. The mind is trying something new by stepping into unknown and uncertain territory..a new pattern of mind abandoning the old which takes courage. This is one way in which the mind transforms. As one finds happiness from within, you're becoming radiant in that there is no expectation from the exterior to make you happy..it's a giving without receiving.
As far as your other concerns, I'm in the same boat! There aren't many worthwhile options, and the ones that exist generally don't pay much or are volunteer positions. I feel that's in place on purpose, in that we're supposed to take chances or put our own ideas into motion. How else does change come about? There's always that element of uncertainty.