Choosing sadness

[reeay]

Imagine having an open wound on your right arm. Every time something happens you feel sad or confused or whatnot, imagine that your left hand is automatically (unconsciously) slapping the open wound. Pain, being a signal to alert us that something is 'wrong', takes over. The body can temporarily numb the pain by sending out SOS messages, but when that signal finishes you really feel the throbbing pain. That can propel you to seek help by examining the wound or that can lead to other ways to ease the pain... When you're in pain you channel your energy into relieving the pain sensation therefore, less energy goes to figuring out what's behind this pain.

Depression is the same way. We find ways to deal with the pain... and relieving pain takes up a lot of our energy and will. It's easy to get stuck at this level and not get down to what's bothering us. When we are in that positive state of mind where the pain is not throbbing and bothering us (i.e., the emotional charge is not as high), we can divert energy into seeking what's going on. The mind and brain are contracted and singly focused on relieving pain when in negative state. The mind and brain are open and making new connections when in more neutral or positive states.

I usually stewed in my pains, became very vulnerable and experienced 'emotional death'. It's no fun but that emotional death experience seemed to open some gateway or something (not necessarily indigo, not sure) bc I got insight, inspiration, and epiphany that uplifted me. Not recommended bc it can take one to the deep dark end... and you have to 'pick up the fragments' later anyway.