If the veil were to disappear.

[Unbound]

I like the idea of a treasure hunt and that I chose to be here for a reason. I wonder how I'd be in infinity. I don't know my reason for being here. Other than to serve others.

My friend, if you were to spend less time with "I should", and spent more time with "I can" you may find that what you feel you should do is not actually reflective of your actual capabilities but is a projection on to yourself of inadequacy.

I have noticed some patterns, if you do not mind my observation. You often speak of the difficulty of experience here and how you wish that it could be easier. Is not difficulty a reflection of your expectations of yourself? Perhaps you would find it easier to serve if you let go of some of your expectations as to what that looks like.

I work in a deli at a grocery store and while I am serving in an obvious way by assisting people with their food, the greater way I am being of service is through friendly interaction, offering smiles and doing my best to be a team player. This means I have to have some discipline in myself to make sure I go to work and put in effort at work which is also serving those I work with/for, as well as myself. Any time you put in effort to do something it is a service to someone, either an other or yourself.

Polarization is about the ability to do work. No matter how much you want to polarize, if you do not put in the effort to move towards your desired polarity, it remains unmanifested. Manifestation requires energy, polarization is a manifestation.

Your intention and desire is good, it is the foundation of choice and of course there is no requirement or expectation that you do anything, however, observing you it seems you do experience some turmoil over all of this.