Death, the final Veil

[Unbound]

I've always "known" of the impermeability of the self but that's what scared me so much when I was younger (and still does at times). I wasn't afraid of dying but I was afraid of death and having to go "heaven" which in my visions was a white, endless, eternal void. It took me an exceptionally long time to get over my phobia of eternity and I still deal with it at times. I guess this is where my approach starts to differs from most, I would have loved to for there to be no "creator" and all just be completely deterministic chemical happenings sprouting from a convoluted origin that didn't matter (and not had the philosophical inclination to explore even the ramifications of that).

I even used to pray to God, that upon my death he destroy my soul so I experience neither heaven nor hell regardless of if I had been the best servant of Christ the world had ever seen, just that I may finally escape existing, not because of dissatisfaction with previous experience but because the thought of experiencing eternity scared the pants off me. I just wanted to die, die forever. I thought maybe if there was no god I could just take my life now, but I could, never shake my "belief" so I never went through with that obviously and am very happy I didn't.
If the Ra Material and all spiritual teachings and attitudes ever were just completely false I'd actually be pretty happy about it. And aside from all that, the important thing is we are human now and have the opportunity to embrace that, which I can't deny the Ra Material has helped me do.

This is how I know that my current approach to life is not a defence mechanism to the prospect of eventual death, as I was (and am) very willing to embrace death in the sense of "ceasing to be".

these days though I'm happy to live out the rest of my days, I don't want to leave this place any time soon. As for eternity, I try not to think about it lol

These thoughts are strikingly similar to my own in the past, thank you for that reflection aha

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Personality, death is what comes at the end of the experience of a particular form of the self embodied by a focusing within the greater or cosmic self. Transitional, it is like colours changing. The blending in between true-colour forms require the adjustment of vibrational spectrums within the self to accomodate the new true-colour vibration. Thus, whether it is red to orange or green to blue, there is a process, a perceivable continuum between the colours which is a mix.

I believe this is, in the terms that Ra might use, related to space/time and time/space. I am not entirely sure how yet, but I think it has to do with mind being time/space oriented and body being space/time oriented with spirit acting as a shuttle between them acting as a conduit for intelligent infinity.

In other words, when your consciousness leaves a potentiated true-colour form that form leaves an impression which must disassembled according to the laws of whichever density body is being potentiated. In 3D terms, this means decay and the decomposition of the "shell" or molt that is left behind by the being.

There are certain paths of Tibetan buddhism and I am sure other traditions which are focused upon the process that occurs at death. I, personally, am fascinated by the concept of death and am very much a graveyard dweller at times. I try to help heal spirits that are lost or are in pain and bring balance and positivity, as well as peace, in to the cemetery space.

As for my own death, I believe I will either know exactly when it will happen prior to its occurrence, or it will happen so suddenly and without my awareness that I will not be able to do much either way. That being said, it's not something I worry about but is indeed something I am prepared to eventually face in whatever form it takes. I am not fearful for judgement or am I scared of infinity but rather I quietly wait with anticipation the big surprise at the end while I live my life as fully as I am capable of in the meantime.