04-15-2014, 07:56 PM
Bring4th has been very important for me to express my honest feelings, regardless of how others might feel. I feel I've shared everything under the rainbow about myself. Though there's things I wouldn't even tell my therapist.
The community has been supportive, during my bipolar times of going up and down. I've been at the lowest lows of schizophrenia, to the highest highs of manic disorder. Feeling like I was in heaven that went on for a week. It's dangerous when one thinks they have died. Because in death I get excited. People have heard my complaints, even in the middle of some pretty intense threads. I've derailed a few threads. I've gotten corrected, even in PM's. Tried hard not to take it personally, because I am a sensitive individual. I've gone from wanting to die, to being balanced and ok with the thought of dying. Furries have been the hilight of my life, and I've dedicated a whole thread to them, with some people actually viewing my posts there. Maybe some watch the videos I post, I don't know. A lot of music videos with furry art. It's what gets me going.
And don't get me started on Daddy Ra. I once thought I was part of their social memory complex, and was visiting them in the sun. It was hot there, and I could see and feel my distortions as hot patches. I missed the end of my work shift for thinking I had died and joined Ra in heaven, in the sun. I sure do miss those days. Bring4th is important to me because I can talk about these things where I can't anywhere else. Even my spiritual mother wouldn't understand, and I can't bring up death to her cause she'd call 911 being worried about my mental state. But I think on my psych meds I'm pretty grounded. That is all.
The community has been supportive, during my bipolar times of going up and down. I've been at the lowest lows of schizophrenia, to the highest highs of manic disorder. Feeling like I was in heaven that went on for a week. It's dangerous when one thinks they have died. Because in death I get excited. People have heard my complaints, even in the middle of some pretty intense threads. I've derailed a few threads. I've gotten corrected, even in PM's. Tried hard not to take it personally, because I am a sensitive individual. I've gone from wanting to die, to being balanced and ok with the thought of dying. Furries have been the hilight of my life, and I've dedicated a whole thread to them, with some people actually viewing my posts there. Maybe some watch the videos I post, I don't know. A lot of music videos with furry art. It's what gets me going.
And don't get me started on Daddy Ra. I once thought I was part of their social memory complex, and was visiting them in the sun. It was hot there, and I could see and feel my distortions as hot patches. I missed the end of my work shift for thinking I had died and joined Ra in heaven, in the sun. I sure do miss those days. Bring4th is important to me because I can talk about these things where I can't anywhere else. Even my spiritual mother wouldn't understand, and I can't bring up death to her cause she'd call 911 being worried about my mental state. But I think on my psych meds I'm pretty grounded. That is all.
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