It's not STS to serve yourself as much as you serve others if you are treating yourself as an other self and showing no favoritism.
It's STS to serve yourself more than others, without consideration for others.
GW, It sounds like you serve your mother a lot. You get to give yourself the same amount of consideration (equal consideration to all other selves including yourself is STO IMHO). Remember, STO is about unconditional love. If you only show love to others and not yourself, that's conditional love - the condition being you love anyone but yourself. Loving all is STO. Only choosing to love yourself with no consideration of others is STS.
Giving yourself more love GW than you are currently would be more a expression of STO and nconditional love, because you haven't given yourself as much love in the past and you are always considerate of others. Now, I understand that it's important to consider that your mother physically needs more help than yourself, and that's a factor to include. But you still gotta consider yourself a bit brother.
Another way to think of it is that you are a third person deciding to serve GW and GW's mother. StO would be considerating GW and GW's mother both and loving them equally and serving them equally together. Despite an equal love, the third party may end helping your mother a but more because she is physically disabled etc. but they are still gonna shower GW with love because you are an other self as well. That is STO. If as a third party you only serve GW's mother and ignore GW and not consider GW, you are more conditional in your love.
I think too often people mistake helping themselves as STS. It's not. It's when you help yourself exclusively without consideration of others as a philosophy does that become StS. You are also an other self who is to be loved and considered and helped. Remember, unconditional love helps and considers all equally, including yourself. It doesn't sound like you've given yourself as much consideration as you have your mother, GW, so don't ignore her or anything but try to balance her desires with your own when deciding who to help in a particular occasion.
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To give another example:
Say there are 5 people you're in contact with and can serve, including yourself and you have 5 days of helping out. You'd normally devote 1 day to each person, including yourself, but the numbers may be adjusted for consideration. Are you seriously sick? All 5 to yourself. Is someone else seriously in emergency need? Maybe all 5 days to that person.
If you are a Jesus type figure who is so intensely balanced that you have no desires that are to be addressed, you may dedicate all 5 days to the 4 other people in normal circumstances. But that state much flow naturally. It should not be forced.
If one of the other five claims to be a Jesus type figure and wants you to help the other 4 including yourself, you'd still consider how he was handling things without any help and still try to be considerate if he ended up needing help despite his words.
In the 5 person example, an STS would always help himself without even considering that ther people exist for the purposes of consideration and service.
So as you can see, STS and STO both can help themselves, but they do so in different ways and philosophies.
It's STS to serve yourself more than others, without consideration for others.
GW, It sounds like you serve your mother a lot. You get to give yourself the same amount of consideration (equal consideration to all other selves including yourself is STO IMHO). Remember, STO is about unconditional love. If you only show love to others and not yourself, that's conditional love - the condition being you love anyone but yourself. Loving all is STO. Only choosing to love yourself with no consideration of others is STS.
Giving yourself more love GW than you are currently would be more a expression of STO and nconditional love, because you haven't given yourself as much love in the past and you are always considerate of others. Now, I understand that it's important to consider that your mother physically needs more help than yourself, and that's a factor to include. But you still gotta consider yourself a bit brother.
Another way to think of it is that you are a third person deciding to serve GW and GW's mother. StO would be considerating GW and GW's mother both and loving them equally and serving them equally together. Despite an equal love, the third party may end helping your mother a but more because she is physically disabled etc. but they are still gonna shower GW with love because you are an other self as well. That is STO. If as a third party you only serve GW's mother and ignore GW and not consider GW, you are more conditional in your love.
I think too often people mistake helping themselves as STS. It's not. It's when you help yourself exclusively without consideration of others as a philosophy does that become StS. You are also an other self who is to be loved and considered and helped. Remember, unconditional love helps and considers all equally, including yourself. It doesn't sound like you've given yourself as much consideration as you have your mother, GW, so don't ignore her or anything but try to balance her desires with your own when deciding who to help in a particular occasion.
-------
To give another example:
Say there are 5 people you're in contact with and can serve, including yourself and you have 5 days of helping out. You'd normally devote 1 day to each person, including yourself, but the numbers may be adjusted for consideration. Are you seriously sick? All 5 to yourself. Is someone else seriously in emergency need? Maybe all 5 days to that person.
If you are a Jesus type figure who is so intensely balanced that you have no desires that are to be addressed, you may dedicate all 5 days to the 4 other people in normal circumstances. But that state much flow naturally. It should not be forced.
If one of the other five claims to be a Jesus type figure and wants you to help the other 4 including yourself, you'd still consider how he was handling things without any help and still try to be considerate if he ended up needing help despite his words.
In the 5 person example, an STS would always help himself without even considering that ther people exist for the purposes of consideration and service.
So as you can see, STS and STO both can help themselves, but they do so in different ways and philosophies.