03-01-2009, 09:53 PM
Hi all,
I felt I needed to add my thoughts to this interesting question. I am 38, with no kids. My thoughts are from the perspective of someone who has always been extremely curious, sensitive, creative and analytical, and my childhood was no exception. Remember that to the mind, aging is illusion. My parents were not particularly religious, but at 6-7 I remember being brought to church on occasion. On the first occasion of hearing a 'hellfire and brimstone' sermon, I started asking questions ... lots of questions. As you grow up, you expect your parents to have the answers, and I know parents like to give them. However, kids *hear* *everything* ... they *remember* everything (at least during childhood :-) ... or at least I did) ... I even remember a moment where I told myself not to forget that I was not a child in my mind [at 6-7]. I still can't remember specifically why, but I know it was after feeling like I was being unjustly treated like a child ... and being unable to make them see that. From this perspective, I feel this is probably something important to consider as a parent.
I know my parents meant well, but even Santa Claus, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy were troublesome for me, as my parents were strict about honesty (from me), but told me these characters were real. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the spirit of the seasons of holidays, and to be honest with myself even wouldn't trade those many moments for the world. I will suggest this though, when your child asks a question, know they will hear other information, so make sure you are comfortable with what you tell them and that it is what you genuinely believe (including that you don't know).
I don't know how many relatives I asked (when I was young) about whether they believed Hell exists or not, but I remember long conversations with a grandmother about it, who was generally vague, but read the bible a lot. Perhaps this was part of me learning to think on my own, I don't know. One stop on this path was when engaging in discussions about Hell (or God for that matter) my sharing my own thoughts at the time:
1. if God is omnipotent (transcends time and space) and created both people and Hell, knowing in omnipotence that the people would 'sin', but does it anyway, doesn't that make him a sadist for having created us at all?
2. Isn't it better that I do the 'right' thing because I believe it is the right thing to do rather than because I am afraid to burn in Hell for eternity?
Mind you it has been a long time since those discussions were had, and LOO and much *much* seeking in the meantime has altered my philosophical perspective here in 3D. [It had always been before that I have an open mind, and know there must be something greater, but will not accept the dogma on faith]
The best lesson I ever learned in life and the one I remembered most which I actually heard in school (not knowing it's 'origin(s)' at the time) was The Golden Rule. This 'Do unto others as you would have done unto you' thought stuck with me, along with the Indian version of Do not judge another until you have walked a mile in their moccasins. [Lone Ranger? ... not sure where I heard it :-)]. I know I used it many times in dealing with and conteplating dealing with others and it has been a tool I used on my own it rang so true to me. I find in thinking about it now that it seems like the same thing Ra suggests in LOO in seeing the self when looking at others. I would suggest the Golden Rule not just as a great lesson, but as a tool to use yourself when teaching (and learning from) your children, remembering humility when you do not know the answer, rather than making something up. Teach them the way you would want to be taught. Tell them the truths you would tell yourself. Discipline them as you would wish yourself disciplined. I think attitude is everything ... and one of the things I remember positively on reflection about my relationship with my father was that he talked with me like a young adult growing up, not down to me. My teachers all saw this, but I think it bothered some because I considered myself equal to them [not disrespectful mind, just that my thoughts were as important as theirs in the absence of knowledge]. I think I have a Socratic philosophy (question authority) with regard to Authority, always have -- it's been one of my challenges in life [perhaps trying to balance love and wisdom].
Peace and Joy,
Jason
I felt I needed to add my thoughts to this interesting question. I am 38, with no kids. My thoughts are from the perspective of someone who has always been extremely curious, sensitive, creative and analytical, and my childhood was no exception. Remember that to the mind, aging is illusion. My parents were not particularly religious, but at 6-7 I remember being brought to church on occasion. On the first occasion of hearing a 'hellfire and brimstone' sermon, I started asking questions ... lots of questions. As you grow up, you expect your parents to have the answers, and I know parents like to give them. However, kids *hear* *everything* ... they *remember* everything (at least during childhood :-) ... or at least I did) ... I even remember a moment where I told myself not to forget that I was not a child in my mind [at 6-7]. I still can't remember specifically why, but I know it was after feeling like I was being unjustly treated like a child ... and being unable to make them see that. From this perspective, I feel this is probably something important to consider as a parent.
I know my parents meant well, but even Santa Claus, Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy were troublesome for me, as my parents were strict about honesty (from me), but told me these characters were real. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the spirit of the seasons of holidays, and to be honest with myself even wouldn't trade those many moments for the world. I will suggest this though, when your child asks a question, know they will hear other information, so make sure you are comfortable with what you tell them and that it is what you genuinely believe (including that you don't know).
I don't know how many relatives I asked (when I was young) about whether they believed Hell exists or not, but I remember long conversations with a grandmother about it, who was generally vague, but read the bible a lot. Perhaps this was part of me learning to think on my own, I don't know. One stop on this path was when engaging in discussions about Hell (or God for that matter) my sharing my own thoughts at the time:
1. if God is omnipotent (transcends time and space) and created both people and Hell, knowing in omnipotence that the people would 'sin', but does it anyway, doesn't that make him a sadist for having created us at all?
2. Isn't it better that I do the 'right' thing because I believe it is the right thing to do rather than because I am afraid to burn in Hell for eternity?
Mind you it has been a long time since those discussions were had, and LOO and much *much* seeking in the meantime has altered my philosophical perspective here in 3D. [It had always been before that I have an open mind, and know there must be something greater, but will not accept the dogma on faith]
The best lesson I ever learned in life and the one I remembered most which I actually heard in school (not knowing it's 'origin(s)' at the time) was The Golden Rule. This 'Do unto others as you would have done unto you' thought stuck with me, along with the Indian version of Do not judge another until you have walked a mile in their moccasins. [Lone Ranger? ... not sure where I heard it :-)]. I know I used it many times in dealing with and conteplating dealing with others and it has been a tool I used on my own it rang so true to me. I find in thinking about it now that it seems like the same thing Ra suggests in LOO in seeing the self when looking at others. I would suggest the Golden Rule not just as a great lesson, but as a tool to use yourself when teaching (and learning from) your children, remembering humility when you do not know the answer, rather than making something up. Teach them the way you would want to be taught. Tell them the truths you would tell yourself. Discipline them as you would wish yourself disciplined. I think attitude is everything ... and one of the things I remember positively on reflection about my relationship with my father was that he talked with me like a young adult growing up, not down to me. My teachers all saw this, but I think it bothered some because I considered myself equal to them [not disrespectful mind, just that my thoughts were as important as theirs in the absence of knowledge]. I think I have a Socratic philosophy (question authority) with regard to Authority, always have -- it's been one of my challenges in life [perhaps trying to balance love and wisdom].
Peace and Joy,
Jason