Why should 6th density beings downgrading themselves to 3th density?

[Unbound]

I thought about wanting to depart 3D again, and was presented a question/feeling. Do I love the Earth enough to stay? And I said yes. It wasn't about my dog, it wasn't about my mom. It was the world. And do I have enough love for it to not go to a more harmonious place? My answer was yes. I was actually pleading with my higher self to go, whether it be heart attack or kidney failure. I don't feel my soul contract holds me here any longer. At least I don't feel obligated by that. But out of my total free will I love others enough to stay. But I could be wrong about my soul contract. My mom will miss me if I go.

This is probably something that will continually come up within me.

The other day I got the feeling of wanting to depart as well, and passed through a mental test of whether I was sure, and I was sure at that time. However, I'm still here.

I can't imagine spending my whole life desiring to end my life, it makes no sense to me. I have been suicidal at times in the past due to severe depression and low self-esteem but it was never to escape and was more of a "punishment and justice" or martyr kind of thing where I thought it would be the greatest service I could give to the world. Sometimes I feel like I don't want to be dealing with my life as it is, but I always remind myself that if I always have that attitude then I will spend my existence, whether incarnate or not, attempting to avoid certain kinds of experiences which will just trap me in the cycle of repeating experiences anyways.

I admit there is a part of me that gets very frustrated and almost angry when I see you striving to "leave" because while I accept you can choose whatever you want to do with your existence, I can't help but think "What a damn waste of potential, love and talent."

It appears to me that you want so much to grow and understand and expand as a person, yet you seem to fear responsibility and avoid any hard work which isn't "enjoyable". I am sure that isn't totally true, but it is how you have portrayed yourself.

Gemini, why are you always trying to run from yourself?