Panic anxiety attacks thread

[Parsons]

I started developing panic attacks about 1-1.5 years ago. I was sure the first one was a heart attack until I went to the hospital the next day to get myself checked out.

The majority of them involved partaking in a small to moderate amount of marijuana (and holding my breath for too long). I seemed to get a handle on them after awhile through sheer force of will. They stopped for 4+ months and I all but forgot about them.

Then, after I got my new job, I had one where there was no MJ active in my system. I realized they occurred when 5 or more people focused their attention on me. I could be in a large group, but I would only feel one coming on when attention was focused on me or a sense of anticipation.

I had one in training when I was waiting in line to do some stupid pointless team building game. I was 3rd or 4th in line... And I was fighting it off with all my effort.

A couple of months later, I quit the MJ altogether for (mostly) unrelated reasons. Yet a few times since, I have found myself fighting it off again.

Just yesterday I stayed home from work because I felt dizzy and 'off'. My solar plexus felt extremely uncomfortable most of the day. It reached a crescendo and I stopped what I was doing to meditate. I was alone in my house with no mind altering substance in my system, but I still nearly had one.

I'm not entirely sure why I am having them. I also was extremely depressed and anxious about 2 years ago and made enormous leaps and bounds towards being happy. I feel blessed to be having this incarnation.

I have thought about quite a bit and came to a few (subjective) conclusions. I wanted to blame a negative entity for a greeting, but quickly realized it would do me absolutely no good to think like that. If it really is/was an entity that was doing it, there is nothing I could do to stop them. I also realized that it made no difference if it was an outside entity or some part of myself causing them since the solution would be the same for both situations. The only way a negative entity could greet me is by exploiting a preexisting vulnerability. So all I have to do is find the root of the problem and fix it, and there will be no vulnerability to exploit.

I have decided the most reasonable explanation is a panic has developed in the 2nd density vehicle that is so graciously seating my consciousness. I think it is caused by some combination of forgetting to breath in situations I feel anxious in general, crowds focusing on me, and anticipation of groups focusing on me. Plus, certain mind altering substances only compound the problem when I start feeling panic well up inside me.

My solution is to always be conscious of keeping my breathing even and try to enter a semi-medative mental state. I also found that if I start feeling anxious in my solar plexus which can precipitate an attack, it helps to internally(non-verbally) comfort my vehicle in a soothing, loving tone as though I were talking to a frightened child or animal. If I am completely alone and feeling that, I will rub my belly and talk to my vehicle out loud (wee bit embarrassing, but effective if done sincerely ).