10-03-2014, 12:09 PM
My focus is on full-spectrum expression and awareness. Thus, I do not decide based on control or acceptance, but rather what is most inclusive of all the rays. There are times when it is wisest to think from my head rather than my heart, and other times when the mind is most appropriately quiet and the heart is allowed to reign. At face value, this is probably no different than "positive" polarization, however as I am working towards adepthood it becomes easier to "switch" when it is necessary.
Perhaps it would help to express that I view acceptance/control as one single thing, a spectrum with an illusory duality. Thus, in all control I see acceptance, and in all acceptance I see control. Thus, it is to me that all of my decisions include both control and acceptance. To attempt to assign a ratio to this would be, to me, convoluted as I view it more as a spinning or cycling, acceptance and control locked in a spiral of yin and yang.
This is my "engine" of action. One not found without the other.
Thus in any activity I do not choose between control and acceptance, but rather see what is needing to be accepted and what is healthy to be controlled. So, I am often simultaneously doing both, while equally invested in both.
You could place me right in the middle of the sinkhole of indifference I suppose, except the condition of "indifference" isn't a matter of actually being indifferent or lack of conscious awareness but rather an awareness that remaining in that position enables me to keep an anchor to 3D.
I sometimes view myself as being similar to Ananda, the assistant to Shakyamuni, whom was always so busy tending and helping others along their path of enlightenment that he had no focus for his own. Then, when finally pressed to become an Arhat to attend the first meeting after the Buddha's death he tried and tried and meditated intensely but upon the morning of the meeting he had not achieved it. Finally, taking a deep breath he lays down to rest beside the tree, saying to himself, "I guess I'm just not an Arhat" and with that acceptance he instantly and spontaneously becomes an enlightened Arhat.
For me, I at one point had my realization that "I am not an Arhat", which for me was like saying I am not a saint or a monk or buddha or master but rather I am one man whom is himself. I don't know if this afforded me any enlightenment, but what it did give me was freedom from myself, freedom from my own expectations and dogma and a sense of innate peace with my own existence.
In summary I would just say I am more than aware of my capability for both control and acceptance and I use each when it is deemed appropriately. Thus, when I control, I control completely, 100%. When I accept, I accept completely, 100%. I may switch back and forth a million times a minute, but I do each with complete trust and conviction.
In a nutshell, and to use analogy, I am a warrior, I do not fight if I do not know I can win and neither do I go seeking fights to win, but if you get me to the point of fighting winning is no longer important, only the dance of the battle.
Perhaps it would help to express that I view acceptance/control as one single thing, a spectrum with an illusory duality. Thus, in all control I see acceptance, and in all acceptance I see control. Thus, it is to me that all of my decisions include both control and acceptance. To attempt to assign a ratio to this would be, to me, convoluted as I view it more as a spinning or cycling, acceptance and control locked in a spiral of yin and yang.
This is my "engine" of action. One not found without the other.
Thus in any activity I do not choose between control and acceptance, but rather see what is needing to be accepted and what is healthy to be controlled. So, I am often simultaneously doing both, while equally invested in both.
You could place me right in the middle of the sinkhole of indifference I suppose, except the condition of "indifference" isn't a matter of actually being indifferent or lack of conscious awareness but rather an awareness that remaining in that position enables me to keep an anchor to 3D.
I sometimes view myself as being similar to Ananda, the assistant to Shakyamuni, whom was always so busy tending and helping others along their path of enlightenment that he had no focus for his own. Then, when finally pressed to become an Arhat to attend the first meeting after the Buddha's death he tried and tried and meditated intensely but upon the morning of the meeting he had not achieved it. Finally, taking a deep breath he lays down to rest beside the tree, saying to himself, "I guess I'm just not an Arhat" and with that acceptance he instantly and spontaneously becomes an enlightened Arhat.
For me, I at one point had my realization that "I am not an Arhat", which for me was like saying I am not a saint or a monk or buddha or master but rather I am one man whom is himself. I don't know if this afforded me any enlightenment, but what it did give me was freedom from myself, freedom from my own expectations and dogma and a sense of innate peace with my own existence.
In summary I would just say I am more than aware of my capability for both control and acceptance and I use each when it is deemed appropriately. Thus, when I control, I control completely, 100%. When I accept, I accept completely, 100%. I may switch back and forth a million times a minute, but I do each with complete trust and conviction.
In a nutshell, and to use analogy, I am a warrior, I do not fight if I do not know I can win and neither do I go seeking fights to win, but if you get me to the point of fighting winning is no longer important, only the dance of the battle.
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