Welcome to the forum, sister. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
To share some relationship catalyst of my own...
In a very short period of time, I experienced a rapid spiritual evolution; tastes in music, films, conversation, food, company all changed, along with of course beliefs and personal truths regarding the meaning of life. My goals became aligned with serving others as best I could. I was worried that my partner would not love me for my true self that I was discovering, and she was worried that I would not love her because she was not (and still is not) 'actively' following a spiritual path (added quotes as one is always on the spiritual path, consciously or not). I also felt trapped, in that I could not express myself honestly in fear of conflict (humans like to avoid painful situations, at any cost). As you can imagine, our fears yielded much unease and discontentment.
After much struggle, I stopped using my ego to evaluate the situation, and instead searched inwardly. Contemplation is a fantastic tool. I discovered, as I already knew intellectually, I have the power to choose, and realised I had given my power away by supporting and perpetuating a negative belief pattern that I could not be my true self in the relationship.
The only thing that can break the perpetual cycle of fear is love. Love is honesty, integrity, appreciation, compassion, courage, kindness and openness (to name but a few). From this, we spoke heart to heart. Much healing took place, and our understandings of each other grew. This takes effort from both involved, one cannot accomplish this with another who has no interest in adapting to new circumstances. If the relationship works when both being true to the self, it works. If it doesn't, it's not to be.
The lesson being presented to me was to be fearless; to allow myself to be myself, no matter the situation. That is the most important thing one can do, and if another is opposing you from doing so, action taken such as your own - moving on - is a positive step.
With regards to love, that's been a great challenge for me. I do not love some people more than others, I offer it to all as best I can. My partner will often ask 'do you love me more than anything in the world?', and I will reply, 'I love you'.
There are no right or wrong choices. We are free to choose. Problems only arise when one chooses, and does not align their being with that choice (through doubt, fear and worry). Abraham is always proposing this notion, and I stumbled upon this video of Sadhguru also supporting that notion. Here is another worth watching.
Your (ex) partner, from your description, is showing clear signs of STS polarity. Fear based thoughts and actions. He is an important example of how one orientated on healing others can hold imbalances in personal contexts, something many people are unaware of.
L&L
To share some relationship catalyst of my own...
In a very short period of time, I experienced a rapid spiritual evolution; tastes in music, films, conversation, food, company all changed, along with of course beliefs and personal truths regarding the meaning of life. My goals became aligned with serving others as best I could. I was worried that my partner would not love me for my true self that I was discovering, and she was worried that I would not love her because she was not (and still is not) 'actively' following a spiritual path (added quotes as one is always on the spiritual path, consciously or not). I also felt trapped, in that I could not express myself honestly in fear of conflict (humans like to avoid painful situations, at any cost). As you can imagine, our fears yielded much unease and discontentment.
After much struggle, I stopped using my ego to evaluate the situation, and instead searched inwardly. Contemplation is a fantastic tool. I discovered, as I already knew intellectually, I have the power to choose, and realised I had given my power away by supporting and perpetuating a negative belief pattern that I could not be my true self in the relationship.
The only thing that can break the perpetual cycle of fear is love. Love is honesty, integrity, appreciation, compassion, courage, kindness and openness (to name but a few). From this, we spoke heart to heart. Much healing took place, and our understandings of each other grew. This takes effort from both involved, one cannot accomplish this with another who has no interest in adapting to new circumstances. If the relationship works when both being true to the self, it works. If it doesn't, it's not to be.
The lesson being presented to me was to be fearless; to allow myself to be myself, no matter the situation. That is the most important thing one can do, and if another is opposing you from doing so, action taken such as your own - moving on - is a positive step.
With regards to love, that's been a great challenge for me. I do not love some people more than others, I offer it to all as best I can. My partner will often ask 'do you love me more than anything in the world?', and I will reply, 'I love you'.
There are no right or wrong choices. We are free to choose. Problems only arise when one chooses, and does not align their being with that choice (through doubt, fear and worry). Abraham is always proposing this notion, and I stumbled upon this video of Sadhguru also supporting that notion. Here is another worth watching.
Your (ex) partner, from your description, is showing clear signs of STS polarity. Fear based thoughts and actions. He is an important example of how one orientated on healing others can hold imbalances in personal contexts, something many people are unaware of.
L&L