01-28-2015, 05:44 PM
I've been dealing with a catalyst I didn't even realise the severity of until the last few days.
It was basically a secret hatred of two people who I would consider friends. We've shared much, and know each other quite well.
But there was some incident in both cases, brought up in conversation which triggered my hatred of these two people.
In separate incidents, something was brought up in conversation which I didn't want to acknowledge about myself - they didn't even aim it at me directly - it was purely an inadvertent mirror effect - which triggered my emotional reaction.
And so I didn't want anything to do with each individual. I didn't say anything, I just withdrew interaction. If I could, I would have deleted them from my life entirely, but that not being possible, I just didn't interact with them when they appeared.
This was purely a mental reaction on my part. I associated the individuals with the part of myself I didn't want to deal with, and so I blocked that aspect from my reality. It was a fundamental red-ray rejection of certain type of experience.
I could have gotten externally angry, and blamed the person, and caused some sort of argument. But that's not my temperament or cultural approach. Instead, I internalised it, and held onto the smouldering anger. Whenever the names of those two individuals was brought up, though, I would feel revulsion and a hatred of who they were and what they represented to me. I was not fully conscious of this, except in hindsight. But that was my unexamined emotional reaction in play.
I have processed this catalyst - and examined the issues that I had previously associated with these two individuals. When I think of them now, I can remember the fondness that I once did.
It is very much a case of this:
"Positive orientation then provides the will and faith to continue this mentally intense experience of letting the anger be understood, accepted, and integrated with the mind/body/spirit complex.
The other-self which is the object of anger is thus transformed into an object of acceptance, understanding, and accommodation, all being reintegrated using the great energy which anger began."
It feels good to have released this anger!
Plenum
It was basically a secret hatred of two people who I would consider friends. We've shared much, and know each other quite well.
But there was some incident in both cases, brought up in conversation which triggered my hatred of these two people.
In separate incidents, something was brought up in conversation which I didn't want to acknowledge about myself - they didn't even aim it at me directly - it was purely an inadvertent mirror effect - which triggered my emotional reaction.
And so I didn't want anything to do with each individual. I didn't say anything, I just withdrew interaction. If I could, I would have deleted them from my life entirely, but that not being possible, I just didn't interact with them when they appeared.
This was purely a mental reaction on my part. I associated the individuals with the part of myself I didn't want to deal with, and so I blocked that aspect from my reality. It was a fundamental red-ray rejection of certain type of experience.
I could have gotten externally angry, and blamed the person, and caused some sort of argument. But that's not my temperament or cultural approach. Instead, I internalised it, and held onto the smouldering anger. Whenever the names of those two individuals was brought up, though, I would feel revulsion and a hatred of who they were and what they represented to me. I was not fully conscious of this, except in hindsight. But that was my unexamined emotional reaction in play.
I have processed this catalyst - and examined the issues that I had previously associated with these two individuals. When I think of them now, I can remember the fondness that I once did.
It is very much a case of this:
"Positive orientation then provides the will and faith to continue this mentally intense experience of letting the anger be understood, accepted, and integrated with the mind/body/spirit complex.
The other-self which is the object of anger is thus transformed into an object of acceptance, understanding, and accommodation, all being reintegrated using the great energy which anger began."
It feels good to have released this anger!
Plenum
![[+]](https://www.bring4th.org/forums/images/collapse_collapsed.png)