You're fat because you eat too much

[Diana]

I am still a highly functional addict as you called it (great expression By the way!). I don't drink or smoke when I work, and can hold myself during these periods. I used to drink when I came home from work, but have stopped now and it feels good. So the progress is there, although it is depressingly slow. I am not able to quit "cold turkey". I tried it on many occassions but it just doesn't work for me. It feels like I'll get stomach cancer or something similar of equal seriousness if I use my will that strongly. I have to go about it in a different way. I tried to do it step-by-step, for instance only on special occassions (this applies to both drinking and smoking By the way), but lose this struggle eventually. It works in the beginning but then I lose it again, and is back where I began. I tried to apply self understanding and awareness. What is happening when I drink for instance? Why do I desire it so much? Why do I seek it? What do I seek in it? Etc etc. It all comes down to seeking the Creator, desiring to be one with what we call the Creator. And without it there is like a big, black hole inside of me. Well, great! Then it's all about meditation and balancing and polarizing and serving others etc etc. But that is a SLOW progress, and doesn't happen over a night. At least not for me. And meanwhile I wake up each and every freaking morning to suffering and struggle with these two addictions! Some days I win. And many others I lose. Ugh!

I understand the addiction thing. My brother was an extreme addict. My father was half Iroquois, which predisposed me and my siblings with a genetic tendency to not tolerate alcohol. It manifests as an exaggerated response to the alcohol high, while also feeling more poisoned by it. 

There is the physical level of addictions that one may address, in helping to mitigate the struggle. There is a really excellent book, "Potatoes not Prozac," written by a PhD. who ran an addiction clinic very successfully by using diet to balance the brain chemicals. Addictive people often have skewed beta-endorphin responses. 

If an addicted person can get some relief from the brain chemical imbalances, it may be easier to address the underlying emotional and spiritual issues. 

I sympathize with your plight. Having a daughter, and feeling this way, must be very difficult. I find that the more empowered I feel, the easier it is to do difficult things such as not eat donuts or whatever. You'll get there.