Parenting and the LOO

[Monica]

I would like to have a place one day, a congregating place that welcomes all faiths...to come to and retreat with their families and nature, a place that would have programs for the children to learn love, forgiveness, offering of self, universal benefits....have gardens there to gather food so people can brake breads together, ect.....I told my daughter this when we talked...and she said 'Well then do it mama...make a place like that...I want a place like that too'.

That would be so wonderful!

We homeschooled our son, and at the time, the only support groups in my area for homeschooling families were Christian. I thought sending him to a Christian homeschool co-op would be beneficial, as it would hopefully instill in him some good values and a general faith in God.

It worked fine when he was little, but when he got to be a teen, it turned disastrous. The leaders of the co-op could not handle his questions and independent thinking. They expected blind obedience and conformity, both of which he found not just distasteful but reprehensible, due to the free way in which he was raised. And I could no longer expect him to keep his mouth shut all the time, as he did when he was little.

He ended up with a very bad taste in his mouth regarding religious people, so then I had to try to undo that damage, which was difficult because, in our case, the people really were hypocritical and judgmental. They were much more concerned with who was 'saved' and who wasn't, than with instilling values of love, forgiveness, and compassion.

So then I had the task of helping him differentiate between religious dogma and the (usually nice) people who adhere to that dogma. Thankfully, he understood about not judging individuals, but still, the overall experience definitely was far more harmful than beneficial.

When he was little, I got him Bible stories to read, along with Buddhist stories, New Age fairy tales, etc. I didn't let him read violent stories or see violent movies until he was much older. Thus, I found myself in the surprisingly unexpected position of having to evaluate the Bible! I ended up removing it from his buffet of reading materials. It did not meet the criteria I had set for what was appropriate for my child. Stories about Jesus were wonderful, of course, but the old testament was blacklisted.

I think it's wonderful that you are able to talk so openly with your kids, and I hope the Christian school works out better for your family than it did for mine. I am just sharing my own experience, which I deeply regret. In my case, were I able to do it over again, I would not subject my child to the religious environment, other than perhaps occasional visits to various churches, just for the experience.