Self-esteem / Confidence

[Questioner]

I have to tell you that I burst out in laughter upon reading this sentence. Laughter is really good medicine.

That's great! If you can laugh at the situation then you can catch your breath, and then think about it a new way.

And your absolutely right....it has been a hot and spicy experience... not quite habanero but definitely jalapeno level

Maybe I should add that line. "Hey buddy, I'm having a jalapeno experience here... can we cool it down before it gets to habanero level!"

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Glad to hear that you are getting through

Thanks.

I have not fully read the enneagram thread...I will try to look at that soon.

No rush. If you get some time, you can skim to find out if it's useful to you. No problem if it's not what you need.

In some ways there seems to be a perfect opposition ie. the other's need to control abuts my unwillingness and reaction to being controlled.

Ra did say that even at their level, there's not an easy way to solve this problem. If the other person desires to be controlling, to disrespect your own freedom of choice, and you desire to respect your own freedom of choice, there's not a compromise. Late in 6D the manipulators will have to accept others with openness to green ray, but until then there's no compromise. Either you give up your freedom to them, or you don't give up your freedom to them.

I do believe the need to control has its root in deep suffering.

Sometimes that's true. I believe, however, that sometimes people just choose a path of control, violence and coercion in this life. It might be an attempt to polarize on the negative path. It might have something to do with resolving their own karma. It could be the thrill of getting away with being naughty or even evil. There could be other reasons we just can't understand. For these people, no amount of relieving their suffering - even if we could take it ALL away - would make them give up their desire to be controlling.

Are we not all mirrors of each other?

Ultimately yes, in a spiritual sense. In this life, often no. A huge lesson for me has been that many people present what they claim is a mirror, but it's a TV screen hooked up to their own inner states... nothing to do with me at all.

I use all the opportunities given to go inward, and find my own truth, because that is where I will really find the truth since the mirror is inaccurate and distorted.

Hurray! This links up to the discussion of confidence as a mindset and social experience.

Part of the problem is that there is a level of contentment and complacency in half of the equation, if everything is so much better than what you grew up with, why strive for better? What is the purpose when this is as good as it gets?

You may have upgraded from habenero cupcakes to halapeno cupcakes. But what if you prefer to just have a plain ol' cupcake without any added excitement?

There is an element of my process that I am still coming into, full self-acceptance and self-love, complete compassion for my self, accepting my limitations and striving to radiate brighter at the same time. A paradox in a way.

Wonderful! Loving compassion and service to humanity starts with loving compassion and service to yourself. The STS extreme doesn't get beyond this. The STO extreme skips past it!