Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies

[rva_jeremy]

Everything in moderatation the key is balance when it comes to addiction. there is an imbalance if you addicted to something.

as a person who recovered from drug addiction from a personal point it all comes down to acceptance.  I use to distort how Ra says something along the lines that you shouldn't suppress your desires as an excuse to indulge in my addiction, but what i learned was that my indulgence of my addiction was in its own way me suppressing myself. I thought that i shouldn't resist the urge to snort this and spend my money on that, but i eventually discovered with myself that my urge to do that was born from my desire to suppress my sobriety.

long story short some of the urges you feel that you shouldn't suppress dealing with sex or addiction or whatever, my be an urge to suppress something else that your not aware of.

This is short, to the point, and so resonant.  Desire is a very, very strange creature--A Fool's Phenomenology spends a great deal of effort trying to frame it correctly because it dissolves into the mystery of the self entirely.  The transformation of desire is, in my opinion, at the heart of many of our struggles with mental patterns.  I had to desire sobriety, I had to desire a different relationship with the female, I had to desire a different mentality towards food, I had to desire meditation.  Whence does this desire come?

That's why I said that we don't recognize the significance of our experiences until much later; because when you're inside the old desire, it's impossible to see that you'd ever not desire it.  You feel trapped, and it's pat to say it's just old programming and patterns. The you that IS that programming, the you that IS that pattern of thought, can't possibly imagine any other desire, and the only thing worse than the desire is the self-abnegation and pit of despair inherent in pretending your desire is not your desire.  Only once you let that part of you that has the desire die, a seeming sacrifice at the time, can you adopt a new identity that is fully distinct in its desires. The new self can understand itself as a quantum leap--one that is in a new quantum, but can understand how the old quantum made the new possible.

This passage from Tyman's book is really prescient on this point:

I ask again: who am I? Everything I know myself to be, ostensibly affirmative, is in reality but a system of resistances.  For just such a thing is the ego.  It is a structure of defense against the overpowering effects of all manner of external and internal stimulus.  To be made organismically available this must be deflected and organized in a systematically cogent manner.

If I release this resistance, do I not then lose myself?  But if I do not, do I not condemn myself to be that product of external forces, however obliquely processed, which inevitably will wear down and, being able to resist no more, will die?  Death is indeed the wages of resistance.

So there it seems is my option: either to die or to die.  But wait.  What of the self I do not know myself to be?  What of the self that lurks behind and is concealed by its own system of resistances?  What if this self first becomes genuinely available in the release of the very resistances in which it is so deeply invested?  This way, the way of releasement, then becomes verily the door to greater life.

Let us make this our principle.  To have life one must lay it down.  That is the way of sacrifice.  Only after the fact does it become transparent that honest sacrifice earnestly made has actually lost nothing of importance: that in fact the essence has only become more purely itself by yielding up what is adventitious.  To one gazing upon the prospect of sacrifice beforehand it seems that the very self rides the whirlwind.  Can I release?  Dare I release?  Only in the last fading of the echo of "I" already released does the answer come.  But then again it is really no answer at all.  For the answer is simply the release of the question.