Sexual addiction! and Male-Female energy roles/energies

[The_Tired_Philosopher]

I was expecting milfy gangbangs from you Jade xD

I think the issue with men towards women is two-fold.  Those who have been with a girl they love grow cold and resentful in 'loneliness' (speaking from experience), you start thinking, I'm not good enough, Why do I need to be better?!  What am I doing wrong!?  Why does no one find me attractive?  Why is attraction of the body all that seems to matter to girls I talk to?

And after a while it calms down or gets worse.  Mine calmed down.  A friend of mine who's a 23 year old virgin has become so angry with women he went celibate and stopped caring about his health or life,

Believe it or not, some guys aren't 100% unless they're with someone, even if they're entire lives.  If they get divorced or their wife dies or something, it damages them deep, like literally losing a part of yourself, and the responses vary greatly, some men even go gay in sexual frustration because there's a huge part that desires to please and be pleased that isn't being fulfilled despite extended efforts to do so.

Video games are social constructs trying to sell to a market ripe with guys unfamiliar to females (not abundant but enough).  Actually, I play as a female in most games.  Mostly because I'm 'pervy' (Prefer: Like how God made the female form.) And prefer running around to a female voice and a female player model.  My skyrim game right now in another thread has me as such.  I like playing the female character. From Halo: Reach to Mass Effect..

Maybe that means I feel like a girl on the inside, I like to think I'm closer to pansexual or trans but I like being a guy.  I also like my mind and accept my preferences.  I like sexual stuff, as even a topic of conversation.  In reflection...many call this being a pervert...

The current odd tropes in my porn escapade are those heavy interracial pornos where guys give their wife to a bigger sized 'black bull' to please her in their place (inadequacy in bed) but they get ready racist about it (black men rule you tier stuff).  Sissy hypnotic stuff (or basically 30 images of feminine guys in hot lingerie who look like girls all flashing in front of you in like...6 second), never thought I'd come to enjoy that until I found out I relate to the feeling from when I was younger.  Initially I REALLY rejected that area until my friends made me reconsider, even then I feel wrong spiritually speaking but chose to accept and try it.  Its not bad, but a lot of it is heavy on racism, degradation, and sexism.  The there's tentacle porn in hentai, which gets into rapey areas and anatomically disturbing content.  I prefer the consensual stuff.  But noticed its one step down from gangbangs and bdsm.

Of it all, I don't really enjoy it much.  Its just easier to find than kindly sexually erotic hentai or emotional sexually satisfied porn.  Its why I think I'll.always retain a squirting fetish, thats one porno genre where you can literally see the orgasm in progress. Which is the really hot part to me.

-cough-
Mind you I'm being pretty open...  If this is disturbing to anyone please tell me to shut up. Just being honest...

To adf to this all, the blockages involved are in order are Yellow Ray, Red Ray, Orange Ray.

I'd never 'cuckold' my wife or gf, that's what sex toys are for, but its a clue that I have doubts in my own sexual ability stemming from a lackof self belief due to failed relationships in the past that I need to balance)

I'd never crossdress (even if skirts look amazing and comfy) though I can't say I would never try same sex stuff again, but at this time when I have a girlfriend, I'd rather not bother with it.  Its a red ray block.of ssexuality. I have never tried to make sense how being penetrated as a kid might psychologically create a portion of myself who identified as female.
I honestly like it though.  Most of my friends are girls.  I get feminine concepts and yearn for less masculine interactions.  I for a while in high school felt more woman than man but never told anyone.  I dont identify as a transexual, but some might argue I should.  I'm content just being who I was born as.  Besides... ... ...  Girls are increasingly mean sometimes D:

Then the tentacle stuff I think is an outlet of combining the pleasure of sexual art with bondage intermixed with being overpowered (in good and bad ways) That leads to an orange ray block of desiring to possess and sexually have control over a girl.  Though I've always been repulsed by rape.  Not into that, but I wonder if that's any difference even if its 'consensual rape play' and such (I lost my girl virginity to a real weird girl lol)

Pay attention to the porn you watch, try to link.it to a blockage when you notice certain genres you return to often.