The Blue Pearl, Ear Tones?

[Aion]

If that is true, then 2:3 odds so far I'm an ascended master, if you corrolate my thoughts to when it occurs, two of three times since I've been journaling it I've seen the dot appear as I thought of possibly being a creator, linked to the 144,000 ascended masters, regarding the creation of the holographic universe.

Did you know the Symbol for Phi looks like a 1 inside of a 0?
And that it looks like a 2D torus?

My doubts:
I'm crazy.  Worry I might be partially schizophrenic from how clearly the voices come in again now that I'm trying to be more conscious and loving and less judgmental.  Its my biggest doubt, that all this, the beautiful love, consideration and kindness in those voices is all fake.
I'm not smart enough or educated enough in mathematics and sacred geometry (See Blatzaddicts post: Serious Adepts), to actually discover any truth to this creation whether intuitively or such, to share for others benefit...
Doubts in my self belief.  Doubts in my self.

I still occasionally stumble into a hellish reality that creates many GREAT doubts regarding my very existence as anything but a dream on the whim of a Moment's notice (my entire life and all existence is just an illusion, I'm an illusion and less than nothing)

I see the world and have doubts that all will be well.

I doubt the good will make up for the bad.

I doubt I am separated but doubt that belief is appropriate or fair to my Human or human self based on the most simple deductive open reasoning regards Free Will and how Humanity is treated on.Earth via 'catalyst'.

Doubt I'm an ascended master.

Doubt I'll ever see, hear, experience extranormal spiritual phenomena.

Doubt I'll ever get to a place in life to be a healer or a teacher of spirituality for others in both areas.

Doubt I'm alive some days and just in a dream.  (Because everything feels like a dream again and looks like it.)

Doubt I'm intellectual or smart, and just a dummy who thinks he knows when in reality he don't know nothing.

Doubt I'm even open with myself properly.

Doubt my social and sexual preferences, which makes me doubt even being a STO entity.

Doubt I'm even a Wanderer sometimes.

Much doubt, much indigo ray blockages that I bypass with pure faith and belief.  But it has a toll over time.

Which makes me doubt my love of self.  Maybe I love knowledge more than I.

Doubt I can wisely love properly or appropriately anyone at all.

Doubt my own love of my doubts.

I'm a very doubtful type now that I list it all out :l...

I would like to offer you this exercise.

Questioner: We have decided to accept, if offered, the honor/duty of learning/teaching the healing process. I would ask as to the first step which we should accomplish in becoming effective healers.

Ra: I am Ra. We shall begin with the first of the three teachings/learnings.

We begin with the mental learn/teachings necessary for contact with intelligent infinity. The prerequisite of mental work is the ability to retain silence of self at a steady state when required by the self. The mind must be opened like a door. The key is silence.

Within the door lies an hierarchical construction you may liken unto geography and in some ways geometry, for the hierarchy is quite regular, bearing inner relationships.

To begin to master the concept of mental discipline it is necessary to examine the self. The polarity of your dimension must be internalized. Where you find patience within your mind you must consciously find the corresponding impatience and vice versa. Each thought that a being has, has in its turn an antithesis. The disciplines of the mind involve, first of all, identifying both those things of which you approve and those things of which you disapprove within yourself, and then balancing each and every positive and negative charge with its equal. The mind contains all things. Therefore, you must discover this completeness within yourself.

The second mental discipline is acceptance of the completeness within your consciousness. It is not for a being of polarity in the physical consciousness to pick and choose among attributes, thus building the roles that cause blockages and confusions in the already-distorted mind complex. Each acceptance smoothes part of the many distortions that the faculty you call judgment engenders.

The third discipline of the mind is a repetition of the first but with the gaze outward towards the fellow entities that it meets. In each entity there exists completeness. Thus, the ability to understand each balance is necessary. When you view patience, you are responsible for mirroring in your mental understanding, patience/impatience. When you view impatience, it is necessary for your mental configuration of understanding to be impatience/patience. We use this as a simple example. Most configurations of mind have many facets, and understanding of either self polarities, or what you would call other-self polarities, can and must be understood as subtle work.

The next step is the acceptance of the other-self polarities, which mirrors the second step.

First, find within yourself the opposite idea of doubt. Perhaps trust? Then go through all of your doubts you have listed here and find the appearance of their opposites within yourself. Accept then that both doubt and trust that exist within you.

Then see these things in others. See that others also hold doubt and trust and see that these are reflections of the same doubt and trust that you hold. Accept that they have these and that you are sharing this experience.

You are everything you think you are, but are you ready to BE that? It's not a question of capabilities, its a question of will.