09-27-2010, 05:42 PM
I think you are projecting a lot here. If this girl is truly the one for you, then she will realize that everyone makes mistakes and value your relationship enough to make if work. If she blows you off, maybe she wasn't the right person for you to begin with. Worrying about something before it even happens never makes it happen any better. In fact, it usually keeps anything from happening to begin with. If you don't write that letter, I get the feeling you would regret it for the rest of your life.
I think it is wonderful that you've realized some of your behaviors are hindering your seeking and are making efforts to take on a healthier lifestyle. Just make sure you don't try to stomp out parts of yourself in the process. Even if you make mistakes, you are perfect. They are there so you can learn...all of you. I only say this because for many years I simply tried to ignore parts of myself that I found not up to par, denying that they even existed. They came back and bit me in the butt later.
BTW, I was diagnosed with OCD, too. The classic symptoms usually don't revolve around a fixation on one person due to a relationship. That's goes more into basic psychology. Some people display co-dependent behavior, relying on a single person to fill all their inner needs, but I don't think it counts as an unnatural fixation. Just about everyone obsesses about people they care about to some degree. Most OCD obsessions and compulsions have little to no relevance to everyday life (a constant fear that the house is going to catch on fire or lightning is going to strike your car). Thinking about a person you care about...that's a relevant issue in your life and it's what humans tend to do, so I don't think these feelings are just a side effect of a psychological condition. Just my opinion.
I think it is wonderful that you've realized some of your behaviors are hindering your seeking and are making efforts to take on a healthier lifestyle. Just make sure you don't try to stomp out parts of yourself in the process. Even if you make mistakes, you are perfect. They are there so you can learn...all of you. I only say this because for many years I simply tried to ignore parts of myself that I found not up to par, denying that they even existed. They came back and bit me in the butt later.
BTW, I was diagnosed with OCD, too. The classic symptoms usually don't revolve around a fixation on one person due to a relationship. That's goes more into basic psychology. Some people display co-dependent behavior, relying on a single person to fill all their inner needs, but I don't think it counts as an unnatural fixation. Just about everyone obsesses about people they care about to some degree. Most OCD obsessions and compulsions have little to no relevance to everyday life (a constant fear that the house is going to catch on fire or lightning is going to strike your car). Thinking about a person you care about...that's a relevant issue in your life and it's what humans tend to do, so I don't think these feelings are just a side effect of a psychological condition. Just my opinion.