Reality Creation

[Plenum]

I have come to realize exactly what you said that I have everything when I don't want anything. Not in a fixed present time but in a potential where the universe throws at me everything he got when I don't want anything. If on the other end I start wanting something really bad then it doesn't happen. I seem to be really powerful at manifestation but things have manifested more in a negative way than a positive way when I try doing it consciously. It's like the universe is trying to play with me. In general I feel pretty free from seperation, suffering and resistance. But it comes back if I want something and I definitely feel it.

from what I can tell, you've tried to create an equalization of desires.  That's not the same as not having desires.

It's a kind of apathy, in not taking responsibility for one's intent.

The heart center is a strong place to work from, but it also is not the end point.

That's why I tried to say that if you focus on where the next point of balance is, you'll find that the throat center is asking for more attention.  You'll see this feedback in your physical experiences, if you look more closely.