Under attack... in desperate need of help...

[1109]

If I were you I would seek out a therapist, preferably someone with spiritual understanding. To me it looks like you're unstable and delusional and in need of professional help. Although I believe that psychic attacks from negative entities exist, I think it's a lot more common that the cause is internal. Maybe it's just catalyst that you're interpreting incorrectly, maybe you're having a kundalini awakening, maybe you have a mental illness that should be treated. I don't mean to judge, I simply don't want to encourage potentially selfdestructive thoughts and behaviors.