Under attack... in desperate need of help...

[Minyatur]

In a sense, yes. That's one reason why I'm not jumping at a chance to get violent over the situation, because the more I allow my emotions to be controlled, the more karmic attachments I create. Now, you can be violent or do anything you want without creating karma as long as you do it without self-identification, because "negative karma" is set in motion by you and can be stopped by you; it's not a punishment-and-reward system, it's just motion in time/space. Allow others to manipulate your emotions and they can manipulate the direction you go, which is why, in this situation, I need to take a breather before I take action, because I have to recognize that I'm dealing with something very intelligent, and I'm not thinking straight right now, plus it might not be worth the effort. This goes even for people who aren't actively trying to manipulate you, but is especially dangerous when you're dealing with demons. I'm not in any condition to go around picking fights at the moment.

I guess an alternative to fighting would be to to shift your perspective of them and your emotional feedback. They are worth loving, they are what we all are through their path.

I see them as colorful beings that have yet to find balance within the chaos of their experience. Just as they access your distortions, you can also access their distortions. On this, I would advise though to seek to understand who and what they are, why they do what they do and why you attract them to yourself. By doing this you could learn to love what they incarnate and also love what it reflects within your own self.

I think that my only obstacle to timeline travel, or other things right now, is my belief in/connection to the consensus reality. As far as desire goes, it has to be matched by belief, and the more "plugged in" I am to some consensus reality, the more susceptible I am to its rules. Which is another reason why I don't care for social memory complexes.

On an astral level, I just have to remove certain elements, and then it'll be easier. In the occasions when I have accomplished it, I find that it's moving myself to a different place in time/space, or perhaps above it, in such a way that I'm basically looking at the consensus reality from a different direction. Meaning, I can be astrally plugged in to the so-called Matrix and still have an effect, but they've blindfolded themselves to the mechanism I use for jumping, so to them it looks like I'm just psychotic and things were always they way they are in the place that I jumped to.

I think it could be well to ponder your reasons for incarnating into this world.

Why you are here?
Why did you wish to be vulnerable and confused?

There are not a whole lot of positive things I'm interested in. "Healing" in a positive sense would mean letting go of most aspects of my personality. I'm highly polarized in the other direction, to the point where I would possibly rather die and fade away into nothingness than join a positive complex.

I think healing is inevitable, that the true shackles are within resistance to heal and that all can only become free of them.

Positive social memory complex would mean abandoning my hatred, self-centered nature, and love of horror and Darkness. When it comes to STS-oriented people, I'm definitely on the nicer end of the spectrum; I try to be honorable, I'm genuinely capable of caring about people, and while nobody who knows me would describe me as even remotely sane or socially responsible, they don't think I'm as monstrous as some people make me out to be. My heart is pure.

But... the idea of a positive social memory complex just makes me sick. It just doesn't seem like there is anything there for me.

Of course, I'm also not a fan of negative ones, because they aren't free, which is important, because liberation is the ultimate goal of separation. I think that the ration of LHP orgs in the universe to actual people/entities on the LHP are around 1:3 at best. 95% of the stuff in such groups almost seems designed to distract from the actual path, which is probably how the people at the top want it.

I want the freedom to be me. Positive can't accept me the way that I am, and fights me even for the few things that I'd need to be happy. Negative won't let me be free, nor even at least just give me what I want. Alone, outside of space/time as we experience it here, in a place where I can enjoy myself, is better.

You make many generalizations, which seems to limit your perspective upon the orientation your desires can have.

If you wish to consider finding yourself a group, you should seek alike entities to experience mutual understanding, which is very healing in itself. Sure there are positive and negative groups, but there's an infinite many-ness to experience infinite blendings of those.

The universe goes far and wide and ever turns around my friend.