Fucking karma, how does that work?

[Mahakali]

But what if I don't cling to unforgiveness in order to ease the pain, but rather, cling to the pain in order to increase the desire for evolution and create the potential for polarization? Black alchemy.

I'm in a weird space where pain no longer affects me, and pleasure does not exist. The way my mind's control structures work are probably very far away from the average individual.

I'm just not where I want to be right now, that's all. but maybe there aren't a whole lot of useful maps of the places I'm trying to go.